The Physiology of Marriage, part 3 | Page 3

greet you with a radiant smile in public, and will be sullen at home. She
will be dull when you are merry, and will make you detest her
merriment when you are moody. Your two faces will present a
perpetual contrast.
Very few men have sufficient force of mind not to succumb to this
preliminary comedy, which is always cleverly played, and resembles
the /hourra/ raised by the Cossacks, as they advance to battle. Many
husbands become irritated and fall into irreparable mistakes. Others
abandon their wives. And, indeed, even those of superior intelligence
do not know how to get hold of the enchanted ring, by which to dispel
this feminine phantasmagoria.
Two-thirds of such women are enabled to win their independence by
this single manoeuvre, which is no more than a review of their forces.
In this case the war is soon ended.
But a strong man who courageously keeps cool throughout this first
assault will find much amusement in laying bare to his wife, in a light
and bantering way, the secret feelings which make her thus behave, in
following her step by step through the labyrinth which she treads, and
telling her in answer to her every remark, that she is false to herself,
while he preserves throughout a tone of pleasantry and never becomes
excited.
Meanwhile war is declared, and if her husband has not been dazzled by
these first fireworks, a woman has yet many other resources for
securing her triumph; and these it is the purpose of the following
Meditations to discover.

MEDITATION XXIV.
PRINCIPLES OF STRATEGY.
The Archduke Charles published a very fine treatise on military under
the title /Principles of Strategy in Relation to the Campaigns of 1796/.
These principles seem somewhat to resemble poetic canons prepared
for poems already published. In these days we are become very much

more energetic, we invent rules to suit works and works to suit rules.
But of what use were ancient principles of military art in presence of
the impetuous genius of Napoleon? If, to-day, however, we reduce to a
system the lessons taught by this great captain whose new tactics have
destroyed the ancient ones, what future guarantee do we possess that
another Napoleon will not yet be born? Books on military art meet,
with few exceptions, the fate of ancient works on Chemistry and
Physics. Everything is subject to change, either constant or periodic.
This, in a few words, is the history of our work.
So long as we have been dealing with a woman who is inert or lapped
in slumber, nothing has been easier than to weave the meshes with
which we have bound her; but the moment she wakes up and begins to
struggle, all is confusion and complication. If a husband would make
an effort to recall the principles of the system which we have just
described in order to involve his wife in the nets which our second part
has set for her, he would resemble Wurmser, Mack and Beaulieu
arranging their halts and their marches while Napoleon nimbly turns
their flank, and makes use of their own tactics to destroy them.
This is just what your wife will do.
How is it possible to get at the truth when each of you conceals it under
the same lie, each setting the same trap for the other? And whose will
be the victory when each of you is caught in a similar snare?
"My dear, I have to go out; I have to pay a visit to Madame So and So.
I have ordered the carriage. Would you like to come with me? Come,
be good, and go with your wife."
You say to yourself:
"She would be nicely caught if I consented! She asks me only to be
refused."
Then you reply to her:
"Just at the moment I have some business with Monsieur Blank, for he
has to give a report in a business matter which deeply concerns us both,
and I must absolutely see him. Then I must go to the Minister of
Finance. So your arrangement will suit us both."
"Very well, dearest, go and dress yourself, while Celine finishes
dressing me; but don't keep me waiting."
"I am ready now, love," you cry out, at the end of ten minutes, as you
stand shaved and dressed.

But all is changed. A letter has arrived; madame is not well; her dress
fits badly; the dressmaker has come; if it is not the dressmaker it is your
mother. Ninety-nine out of a hundred husbands will leave the house
satisfied, believing that their wives are well guarded, when, as a matter
of fact, the wives have gotten rid of them.
A lawful wife who from her husband cannot escape, who is not
distressed by pecuniary anxiety, and