The Physiology of Marriage, part 2 | Page 9

Napoleon, Napoleon the Great, would ever have conquered Italy?
Was Napoleon, during his campaign in Russia, a prey to the most
horrible pangs of dysuria, or was he not? That is one of the questions
which has weighed upon the minds of the whole world. Is it not certain
that cooling applications, douches, baths, etc., produce great changes in
more or less acute affections of the brain? In the middle of the heat of
July when each one of your pores slowly filters out and returns to the
devouring atmosphere the glasses of iced lemonade which you have
drunk at a single draught, have you ever felt the flame of courage, the
vigor of thought, the complete energy which rendered existence light
and sweet to you some months before?
No, no; the iron most closely cemented into the hardest stone will raise
and throw apart the most durable monument, by reason of the secret
influence exercised by the slow and invisible variations of heat and
cold, which vex the atmosphere. In the first place, let us be sure that if
atmospheric mediums have an influence over man, there is still a
stronger reason for believing that man, in turn, influences the
imagination of his kind, by the more or less vigor with which he
projects his will and thus produces a veritable atmosphere around him.
It is in this fact that the power of the actor's talent lies, as well as that of
poetry and of fanaticism; for the former is the eloquence of words, as
the latter is the eloquence of actions; and in this lies the foundation of a
science, so far in its infancy.
This will, so potent in one man against another, this nervous and fluid
force, eminently mobile and transmittable, is itself subject to the
changing condition of our organization, and there are many
circumstances which make this frail organism of ours to vary. At this
point, our metaphysical observation shall stop and we will enter into an
analysis of the circumstances which develop the will of man and impart
to it a grater degree of strength or weakness.
Do not believe, however, that it is our aim to induce you to put
cataplasms on the honor of your wife, to lock her up in a sweating
house, or to seal her up like a letter; no. We will not even attempt to
teach you the magnetic theory which would give you the power to
make your will triumph in the soul of your wife; there is not a single
husband who would accept the happiness of an eternal love at the price
of this perpetual strain laid upon his animal forces. But we shall

attempt to expound a powerful system of hygiene, which will enable
you to put out the flame when your chimney takes fire. The elegant
women of Paris and the provinces (and these elegant women form a
very distinguished class among the honest women) have plenty of
means of attaining the object which we propose, without rummaging in
the arsenal of medicine for the four cold specifics, the water-lily and
the thousand inventions worthy only of witches. We will leave to
Aelian his herb hanea and to Sterne the purslane and cucumber which
indicate too plainly his antiphlogistic purpose.
You should let your wife recline all day long on soft armchairs, in
which she sinks into a veritable bath of eiderdown or feathers; you
should encourage in every way that does no violence to your
conscience, the inclination which women have to breathe no other air
but the scented atmosphere of a chamber seldom opened, where
daylight can scarcely enter through the soft, transparent curtains.
You will obtain marvelous results from this system, after having
previously experienced the shock of her excitement; but if you are
strong enough to support this momentary transport of your wife you
will soon see her artificial energy die away. In general, women love to
live fast, but, after their tempest of passion, return to that condition of
tranquillity which insures the happiness of a husband.
Jean-Jacques, through the instrumentality of his enchanting Julie, must
have proved to your wife that it was infinitely becoming to refrain from
affronting her delicate stomach and her refined palate by making chyle
out of coarse lumps of beef, and enormous collops of mutton. Is there
anything purer in the world than those interesting vegetables, always
fresh and scentless, those tinted fruits, that coffee, that fragrant
chocolate, those oranges, the golden apples of Atalanta, the dates of
Arabia and the biscuits of Brussels, a wholesome and elegant food
which produces satisfactory results, at the same time that it imparts to a
woman an air of mysterious originality? By the regimen which she
chooses she becomes quite celebrated in her immediate circle,