The Physiology of Marriage, part 2 | Page 3

my master would have understood
this look, but it was Chinese to him, and so he went on.
"Look here, child, I constitute you judge in the matter; our income is
ten thousand francs."
At these words I retired to the door, as if I were seized with a wild

desire to examine the framed drawings which had attracted my
attention. My discretion was rewarded by an eloquent glance. Alas! she
did not know that in Fortunio I could have played the part of Sharp-
Ears, who heard the truffles growing.
"In accordance with the principles of general economy," said my
master, "no one ought to spend in rent and servant's wages more than
two-tenths of his income; now our apartment and our attendance cost
altogether a hundred louis. I give you twelve hundred francs to dress
with" [in saying this he emphasized every syllable]. "Your food," he
went on, takes up four thousand francs, our children demand at lest
twenty-five louis; I take for myself only eight hundred francs; washing,
fuel and light mount up to about a thousand francs; so that there does
not remain, as you see, more than six hundred francs for unforeseen
expenses. In order to buy the cross of diamonds, we must draw a
thousand crowns from our capital, and if once we take that course, my
little darling, there is no reason why we should not leave Paris which
you love so much, and at once take up our residence in the country, in
order to retrench. Children and household expenses will increase fast
enough! Come, try to be reasonable!"
"I suppose I must," she said, "but you will be the only husband in Paris
who has not given a New Year's gift to his wife."
And she stole away like a school-boy who goes to finish an imposed
duty. My master made a gesture of relief. When he saw the door close
he rubbed his hands, he talked of the war in Spain; and I went my way
to the Rue de Provence, little knowing that I had received the first
installment of a great lesson in marriage, any more than I dreamt of the
conquest of Constantinople by General Diebitsch. I arrived at my host's
house at the very moment they were sitting down to luncheon, after
having waited for me the half hour demanded by usage. It was, I
believe, as she opened a /pate de foie gras/ that my pretty hostess said
to her husband, with a determined air:
"Alexander, if you were really nice you would give me that pair of
ear-rings that we saw at Fossin's."
"You shall have them," cheerfully replied my friend, drawing from his
pocketbook three notes of a thousand francs, the sight of which made
his wife's eyes sparkle. "I can no more resist the pleasure of offering
them to you," he added, "than you can that of accepting them. This is

the anniversary of the day I first saw you, and the diamonds will
perhaps make you remember it!----"
"You bad man!" said she, with a winning smile.
She poked two fingers into her bodice, and pulling out a bouquet of
violets she threw them with childlike contempt into the face of my
friend. Alexander gave her the price of the jewels, crying out:
"I had seen the flowers!"
I shall never forget the lively gesture and the eager joy with which, like
a cat which lays its spotted paw upon a mouse, the little woman seized
the three bank notes; she rolled them up blushing with pleasure, and put
them in the place of the violets which before had perfumed her bosom.
I could not help thinking about my old mathematical master. I did not
then see any difference between him and his pupil, than that which
exists between a frugal man and a prodigal, little thinking that he of the
two who seemed to calculate the better, actually calculated the worse.
The luncheon went off merrily. Very soon, seated in a little
drawing-room newly decorated, before a cheerful fire which gave
warmth and made our hearts expand as in spring time, I felt compelled
to make this loving couple a guest's compliments on the furnishing of
their little bower.
"It is a pity that all this costs so dear," said my friend, "but it is right
that the nest be worthy of the bird; but why the devil do you
compliment me upon curtains which are not paid for?--You make me
remember, just at the time I am digesting lunch, that I still owe two
thousand francs to a Turk of an upholsterer."
At these words the mistress of the house made a mental inventory of
the pretty room with her eyes, and the radiancy of her face changed to
thoughtfulness. Alexander