The Physiology of Marriage, part 2

The Physiology of Marriage, part
2

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Title: The Physiology of Marriage (Part 2)

Author: Honore de Balzac
Release Date: June, 2004 [EBook #5899] [Yes, we are more than one
year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on September 23,
2002]
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PHYSIOLOGY OF MARRIAGE ***

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THE PHYSIOLOGY OF MARRIAGE
SECOND PART
BY
HONORE DE BALZAC

MEANS OF DEFENCE, INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR.
"To be or not to be, That is the question." --Shakspeare, /Hamlet/.

MEDITATION X.
A TREATISE ON MARITAL POLICY.
When a man reaches the position in which the first part of this book
sets him, we suppose that the idea of his wife being possessed by
another makes his heart beat, and rekindles his passion, either by an
appeal to his /amour propre/, his egotism, or his self-interest, for unless
he is still on his wife's side, he must be one of the lowest of men and
deserves his fate.
In this trying moment it is very difficult for a husband to avoid making
mistakes; for, with regard to most men, the art of ruling a wife is even

less known than that of judiciously choosing one. However, marital
policy consists chiefly in the practical application of three principles
which should be the soul of your conduct. The first is never to believe
what a woman says; the second, always to look for the spirit without
dwelling too much upon the letter of her actions; and the third, not to
forget that a woman is never so garrulous as when she holds her tongue,
and is never working with more energy than when she keeps quiet.
From the moment that your suspicions are aroused, you ought to be like
a man mounted on a tricky horse, who always watches the ears of the
beast, in fear of being thrown from the saddle.
But art consists not so much in the knowledge of principles, as in the
manner of applying them; to reveal them to ignorant people is to put a
razor in the hand of a monkey. Moreover, the first and most vital of
your duties consists in perpetual dissimulation, an accomplishment in
which most husbands are sadly lacking. In detecting the symptoms of
minotaurism a little too plainly marked in the conduct of their wives,
most men at once indulge in the most insulting suspicions. Their minds
contract a tinge of bitterness which manifests itself in their
conversation, and in their manners; and the alarm which fills their heart,
like the gas flame in a glass globe, lights up their countenances so
plainly, that it accounts for their conduct.
Now a woman, who has twelve hours more than you have each day to
reflect and to study you, reads the suspicion written upon your face at
the very moment that it arises. She will never forget this gratuitous
insult. Nothing can ever remedy that. All is now said and done, and the
very next day, if she has opportunity, she will join the ranks of
inconsistent women.
You ought then to begin under these circumstances to affect towards
your wife the same boundless confidence that you have hitherto had in
her. If you begin to lull her anxieties by honeyed words, you are lost,
she will not believe you; for she has her policy as you have yours. Now
there is as much need for tact as for kindliness in your behavior, in
order to inculcate in her, without her knowing it, a feeling of security,
which will lead her to lay back her ears, and prevent you from using
rein or spur at the wrong moment.
But how can we compare a horse, the frankest