The Peter Patter Book of Nursery Rhymes | Page 7

and pearly earl,?Twenty nobles and a churl.
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TIPSY TOM
Tipsy Tom, the naughty fellow,?Dressed his wife in pink and yellow,?Set her in an apple tree,?And said: "Now catch a bumblebee."
JOLLY JINKS
Jolly Jinks, the sailor man,?Went to sea in an oyster can.?But he found the water wet,?Fishes got into his net,?So he pulled his boat to shore?And vowed he'd sail the seas no more.
TRANSFORMATION
Auntie Ellen found her poodle--?Mercy! Goodness sake!--?Playing with the mully-wumps?Down along the lake.
And when she called him tenderly?He didn't want to come;?It took her over half an hour?To get the rascal home.
She washed him well with shaving-soap,?Pumice stone and lye,?She showered him and she scoured him?And she hung him up to dry.
And now he sits there quite serene,?The sweetest poodle ever seen.
[Illustration: TRANSFORMATION]
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THE THIEF CHASE
Bricks and bones!?Sticks and stones!?I chased a thief through twenty zones.
I found his hat?On Ararat,?And hurried on as quick as scat.
In a day or two?I found his shoe?Where he had sailed for Timbuktu.
I met the goat?That ate his coat?Upon the road to Terre Haute.
At last all worn?And quite forlorn?I chased him up the Matterhorn.
SOMEBODY
Somebody give me a peanut,?Somebody give me a pear;?I want to go down to the circus?And feed all the animals there.
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CONSOLATION
A dime and a dollar?Took me by the collar?And whispered this word in my ear:
"We must leave you to-morrow,?But prithee don't sorrow,?We'll come back to see you next year."
THE ROBIN AND THE SQUIRREL
Said the Robin to the Squirrel,?"How d' you do?"?Said the Squirrel to the Robin,?"How are you?"?"Oh, I've got some cherry pies,?And a half a dozen flies,?And a kettle full of beetles on to stew."
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Said the Squirrel to the Robin,?"How d' you do?"?Said the Robin to the Squirrel,?"How are you?"?"I've a nest that's nice and neat,?And a wife that can't be beat,?And I'm every bit as happy now as you."
THE KING HAD A PLATTER
The King had a platter?Of brisket and batter,?The Prince had a Bellington bun,?The Queen had a rose?To put to her nose?As soon as the dinner was done.
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RAIN
The lightning split the sky in two?And set the clouds to leaking?Just as dear old Pastor Brown?Began his Sunday speaking.
He told about the awful rain?That fell in Noah's day,?And one by one the happy smiles?Began to fade away.
In half an hour the people all?Put on their rubber coats,?And when he finished everyone?Was out and building boats.
OLD FATHER McNETHER
Old Father McNether?He sorts out the weather?And takes what he pleases, I'm told,?With a big turkey-feather?He mixes the weather,?And makes it blow hot and blow cold.
[Illustration: OLD FATHER McNETHER]
JERRY WAS A JOKER
Jerry was a joker.?He carried off the poker?And dressed it up from head to heel?In clover-tops and orange-peel?And fed it bones and barley meal.?Poor old Rusty Poker!
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KING KOKEM
King Kokem lay snoozing upon his brass bed--?Oh, play an old tune on your fiddle!?With shoes on his feet, and a crown on his head--?Oh, tune up your rusty old fiddle!
He dreamed of a land where the lions were tame,?Where they fried their lamb-chops on a griddle,?Where they called all the parrots and monkeys by name--?Oh, play us a tune on your fiddle!
He dreamed of a sea filled with raspberry pop,?With a cocoanut isle in the middle,?Where the stones and the boulders had icing on top--?Go strike up a tune on your fiddle!
He dreamed of a sky where the moonbeams all danced?While a comet was telling a riddle,?Where the stars and the planets and sun-dogs all pranced?While the moon played his fiddle de diddle.
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OLD MISSUS SKINNER
Old Missus Skinner?Had dumplings for dinner?And sat on a very high stool;?When she cut thru the hide?There was nothing inside,?Which I'm sure was not often the rule.
[Illustration: OH MOTHER, OH MOTHER, COME QUICKLY AND SEE]
OH, MOTHER
Oh, Mother, Oh, Mother,?Come quickly and see,?The house and the farmyard?Have gone on a spree.
The pig's in the pantry,?The chickens are out,?The parrot is perched?On the tea kettle spout.
And mercy, Oh, mercy,?Oh, what shall I do??A rat has run off?With my very best shoe.
CELLA REE AND TOMMY TO
Two funny friends that you all know?Are Cella Ree and Tommy To.?About as queer as friends can be,?Are Tommy To and Cella Ree.?For hours they sit there grim and stable?Side by side upon the table.?Tom is red and Cella pale,?His blushes are of no avail;?She sits, in spite of his endeavor,?As firm and undisturbed as ever,?A funny pair, you must agree,?This Tommy To and Cella Ree.
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IF I WERE RICHER
If I were richer?I'd buy a pitcher?With scenery on it.?'Jolica ware--?Storks here and there,?And a funny affair?With ladies on it.
In half a minute?I'd mix up in it?A wonderful drink--?Peppermint, ice,?Lemons and spice--?Taste pretty nice,?What do you think?
THE ARMY OF THE QUEEN
O the Army of the Queen,?The Army of the Queen,?Some are dressed in turkey-red?And some are dressed in green;?A colonel and a captain,?A corporal in between,?Their guns are filled with powder?And their swords are bright and keen;?So toot your little trumpet?For the Army