The Perils of Certain English Prisoners | Page 8

as any of the rest. He went at it with so much
heartiness, to say the truth, that he rose in my good opinion almost as
fast as the water rose in the ship. Which was fast enough, and faster.
Mr. Commissioner Pordage kept in a red-and-black japanned box, like
a family lump-sugar box, some document or other, which some Sambo
chief or other had got drunk and spilt some ink over (as well as I could
understand the matter), and by that means had given up lawful
possession of the Island. Through having hold of this box, Mr. Pordage
got his title of Commissioner. He was styled Consul too, and spoke of
himself as "Government."
He was a stiff-jointed, high-nosed old gentleman, without an ounce of
fat on him, of a very angry temper and a very yellow complexion. Mrs.
Commissioner Pordage, making allowance for difference of sex, was
much the same. Mr. Kitten, a small, youngish, bald, botanical and
mineralogical gentleman, also connected with the mine--but everybody

there was that, more or less--was sometimes called by Mr.
Commissioner Pordage, his Vice-commissioner, and sometimes his
Deputy-consul. Or sometimes he spoke of Mr. Kitten, merely as being
"under Government."
The beach was beginning to be a lively scene with the preparations for
careening the sloop, and with cargo, and spars, and rigging, and
water-casks, dotted about it, and with temporary quarters for the men
rising up there out of such sails and odds and ends as could be best set
on one side to make them, when Mr. Commissioner Pordage comes
down in a high fluster, and asks for Captain Maryon. The Captain, ill as
he was, was slung in his hammock betwixt two trees, that he might
direct; and he raised his head, and answered for himself.
"Captain Maryon," cries Mr. Commissioner Pordage, "this is not
official. This is not regular."
"Sir," says the Captain, "it hath been arranged with the clerk and
supercargo, that you should be communicated with, and requested to
render any little assistance that may lie in your power. I am quite
certain that hath been duly done."
"Captain Maryon," replied Mr. Commissioner Pordage, "there hath
been no written correspondence. No documents have passed, no
memoranda have been made, no minutes have been made, no entries
and counter- entries appear in the official muniments. This is indecent.
I call upon you, sir, to desist, until all is regular, or Government will
take this up."
"Sir," says Captain Maryon, chafing a little, as he looked out of his
hammock; "between the chances of Government taking this up, and my
ship taking herself down, I much prefer to trust myself to the former."
"You do, sir?" cries Mr. Commissioner Pordage.
"I do, sir," says Captain Maryon, lying down again.
"Then, Mr. Kitten," says the Commissioner, "send up instantly for my
Diplomatic coat."
He was dressed in a linen suit at that moment; but, Mr. Kitten started
off himself and brought down the Diplomatic coat, which was a blue
cloth one, gold-laced, and with a crown on the button.
"Now, Mr. Kitten," says Pordage, "I instruct you, as Vice-
commissioner, and Deputy-consul of this place, to demand of Captain
Maryon, of the sloop Christopher Columbus, whether he drives me to

the act of putting this coat on?"
"Mr. Pordage," says Captain Maryon, looking out of his hammock
again, "as I can hear what you say, I can answer it without troubling the
gentleman. I should be sorry that you should be at the pains of putting
on too hot a coat on my account; but, otherwise, you may put it on
hind-side before, or inside-out, or with your legs in the sleeves, or your
head in the skirts, for any objection that I have to offer to your
thoroughly pleasing yourself."
"Very good, Captain Maryon," says Pordage, in a tremendous passion.
"Very good, sir. Be the consequences on your own head! Mr. Kitten, as
it has come to this, help me on with it."
When he had given that order, he walked off in the coat, and all our
names were taken, and I was afterwards told that Mr. Kitten wrote from
his dictation more than a bushel of large paper on the subject, which
cost more before it was done with, than ever could be calculated, and
which only got done with after all, by being lost.
Our work went on merrily, nevertheless, and the Christopher Columbus,
hauled up, lay helpless on her side like a great fish out of water. While
she was in that state, there was a feast, or a ball, or an entertainment, or
more properly all three together, given us in honour of the ship, and the
ship's company, and the other visitors. At that assembly, I believe, I
saw all the inhabitants then