The Perfect Gentleman

The Perfect Gentleman, by Ralph
Bergengren

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Title: The Perfect Gentleman
Author: Ralph Bergengren
Release Date: November 15, 2007 [EBook #23481]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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The
PERFECT GENTLEMAN

BY
RALPH BERGENGREN
[Illustration]
The Atlantic Monthly Press Boston

COPYRIGHT, 1919, BY THE ATLANTIC MONTHLY PRESS, INC.
The author gratefully acknowledges his indebtedness to The Century
Co. for permission to reprint "Oh, Shining Shoes!"

CONTENTS
The Perfect Gentleman 1
As a Man Dresses 14
In the Chair 28
Oh, Shining Shoes! 43
On Making Calls 55
The Lier in Bed 67
To Bore or Not to Bore 79
Where Toils the Tailor 93
Shaving Thoughts 106
Oh, The Afternoon Tea! 122

THE PERFECT GENTLEMAN
Somewhere in the back of every man's mind there dwells a strange
wistful desire to be thought a Perfect Gentleman. And this is much to
his credit, for the Perfect Gentleman, as thus wistfully contemplated, is
a high ideal of human behavior, although, in the narrower but honest
admiration of many, he is also a Perfect Ass. Thus, indeed, he comes
down the centuries--a sort of Siamese Twins, each miraculously visible
only to its own admirers; a worthy personage proceeding at one end of
the connecting cartilage, and a popinjay prancing at the other. Emerson
was, and described, one twin when he wrote, 'The gentleman is a man
of truth, lord of his own actions, and expressing that lordship in his
behavior; not in any manner dependent or servile, either on persons, or
opinions, or possessions.' Walter Pater, had Leonardo painted a Perfect
Gentleman's portrait instead of a Perfect Lady's, might have described
the other: 'The presence that thus rose so strangely beside the tea-table
is expressive of what in the ways of a thousand years women had come
to desire. His is the head upon which "all the ends of the world have
come," and the eyelids are a little weary. He is older than the tea things
among which he sits.' Many have admired, but few have tried to imitate,
the Perfect Gentleman of Emerson's definition; yet few there are who
have not felt the wistful desire for resemblance. But the other is more
objective: his clothes, his manners, and his habits are easy to imitate.
Of this Perfect Gentleman in the eighteenth century I recently
discovered fossil remains in the Gentleman's Pocket Library (Boston
and Philadelphia, 1794), from which any literary savant may restore the
original. All in one volume, the Library is a compilation for Perfect
Gentlemen in the shell, especially helpful with its chapter on the
'Principles of Politeness'; and many an honest but foolish youth went
about, I dare say, with this treasure distending his pocket, bravely
hoping to become a Perfect Gentleman by sheer diligence of spare-time
study. If by chance this earnest student met an acquaintance who had
recently become engaged, he would remember the 'distinguishing
diction that marks the man of fashion,' and would 'advance with
warmth and cheerfulness, and perhaps squeezing him by the hand' (oh,
horror!) 'would say, "Believe me, my dear sir, I have scarce words to

express the joy I feel, upon your happy alliance with such and such a
family, etc."' Of which distinguishing diction, 'believe me' is now all
that is left.
If, however, he knew that the approaching victim had been lately
bereaved, he would 'advance slower, and with a peculiar composure of
voice and countenance, begin his compliments of condolence with, "I
hope, sir, you will do me the justice to be persuaded, that I am not
insensible to your unhappiness, that I take part in your distress, and
shall ever be affected when you are so."'
In lighter mood this still imperfect Perfect Gentleman would never
allow himself to laugh, knowing, on the word of his constant
pocket-companion, that laughter is the 'sure sign of a weak mind, and
the manner in which low-bred men express their silly joy, at silly things,
and they call it being merry.' Better always, if necessary, the peculiar
composure of polite sensibility to the suffering of properly introduced
acquaintances. When he went out, he would be careful to 'walk well,
wear his hat well, move his head properly, and his arms gracefully'; and
I for one sympathize with the low-breds if they found him a merry
spectacle; when he went in,