The Path Of Duty | Page 7

heart should n't be a little more in the matter; it seemed strange
to be engaged to so charming a girl and yet go through with it as if it
were simply a social duty. If one had n't been in love with her at first,
one ought to have been at the end of a week or two. If Ambrose Tester
was not (and to me he did n't pretend to be), he carried it off, as I have
said, better than I should have expected. He was a gentleman, and he
behaved like a gentleman, with the added punctilio, I think, of being
sorry for his betrothed. But it was difficult to see what, in the long run,
he could expect to make of such a position. If a man marries an ugly,
unattractive woman for reasons of state, the thing is comparatively
simple; it is understood between them, and he need have no remorse at
not offering her a sentiment of which there has been no question. But
when he picks out a charming creature to gratify his father and les
convenances, it is not so easy to be happy in not being able to care for
her. It seemed to me that it would have been much better for Ambrose
Tester to bestow himself upon a girl who might have given him an
excuse for tepidity. His wife should have been healthy but stupid,

prolific but morose. Did he expect to continue not to be in love with
Joscelind, or to conceal from her the mechanical nature of his attentions?
It was difficult to see how he could wish to do the one or succeed in
doing the other. Did he expect such a girl as that would be happy if he
did n't love her? and did he think himself capable of being happy if it
should turn out that she was miserable? If she should n't be
miserable,--that is, if she should be indifferent, and, as they say,
console herself, would he like that any better?
I asked myself all these questions and I should have liked to ask them
of Mr. Tester; but I did n't, for after all he could n't have answered them.
Poor young man! he did n't pry into things as I do; he was not analytic,
like us Americans, as they say in reviews. He thought he was behaving
remarkably well, and so he was--for a man; that was the strange part of
it. It had been proper that in spite of his reluctance he should take a
wife, and he had dutifully set about it. As a good thing is better for
being well done, he had taken the best one he could possibly find. He
was enchanted with--with his young lady, you might ask? Not in the
least; with himself; that is the sort of person a man is! Their virtues are
more dangerous than their vices, and Heaven preserve you when they
want to keep a promise! It is never a promise to you, you will notice. A
man will sacrifice a woman to live as a gentleman should, and then ask
for your sympathy--for him! And I don't speak of the bad ones, but of
the good. They, after all, are the worst Ambrose Tester, as I say, did n't
go into these details, but synthetic as he might be, was conscious that
his position was false. He felt that sooner or later, and rather sooner
than later, he would have to make it true,--a process that could n't
possibly be agreeable. He would really have to make up his mind to
care for his wife or not to care for her. What would Lady Vandeleur say
to one alternative, and what would little Joscelind say to the other?
That is what it was to have a pertinacious father and to be an
accommodating son. With me, it was easy for Ambrose Tester to be
superficial, for, as I tell you, if I did n't wish to engage him, I did n't
wish to disengage him, and I did n't insist Lady Vandeleur insisted, I
was afraid; to be with her was of course very complicated; even more
than Miss Bernardstone she must have made him feel that his position
was false. I must add that he once mentioned to me that she had told

him he ought to marry. At any rate, it is an immense thing to be a
pleasant fellow. Our young fellow was so universally pleasant that of
course his fiancée came in for her share. So did Lady Emily, suffused
with hope, which made her pinker than ever; she told me he sent
flowers even to her. One day in the Park, I was riding early; the Row
was almost empty.