The Norsk Nightingale | Page 3

yu vork long hours,?And ant get wery fancy pay;?Den yu can't buying stacks of flowers?And feed yure girl in gude café,?And drenk yin rickies and frappé.?Oh, yes! dis mak yu purty blue.?Yu lak to have more fun, yu say??Val, Maester, it ban op to yu.
Dis vorld ant got much room to spare?For men vich make dis hard-luck cry,--?'Bout von square foot vile dey ban har,?And six feet after dey skol die.?Time "fugit,"--high-school vord for "fly";?And purty sune yure chance ban tru.?So, ef yu lak to stack chips high,?Val, Maester, it ban op to yu.
THE NORSK NIGHTINGALE
HIS HISTORICAL TALES
HORATIUS AT THE BRIDGE
Horatius ban brave yentleman,?Who vatch big bridge at night:?It ban gude many years ago,?Ay ant got date yust right.?Dar ban some foxy geezers?Who march avay from home,?And tenk they having qvite gude chance?To raise some hal in Rome.
Lars Porsena ban starting it,--?Ay tenk Lars ban a Svede;?He raise 'bout tousand soldiers,?And put himself in lead.?Then he began tu marching,?And all his frends march, tu,?Till they skol come almost to Rome,?Var dey skol rest a few.
Then op spake Maester Horatius,?Captain of dis har gate:?"To every yackass on dis earth?Death coming sune or late.?So how can ay die better?Than vatching bridge, yu say??Now who skol standing on my front?And vatching bridge vith me?"
Then Maester Laertus Larson,?A scrapper fine ban he,?Say, "Ay skol standing on yure back,?But not on front, by yee!"?And old Herminius Hermanson--?He ban gude fighter, tu,?Say, "Ay skol taking little smash?At dese har Svedes vith yu!"
So ven dis Maester Porsena?Ban come to big bridge gate,?He sees three husky lumberyacks,?And know he come tu late.?But Lars, he ant ban qvitter,?He send 'bout saxteen men?To taking bridge,--by yiminy,?Dey ant come back again!
While old Horatius and his frends?Ban vatching bridge so gude,?Some aldermen on oder shore?Ban sawing planty vood.?Ay tal yu, ven dese boodlers?Ban start to tear tengs down,?Dar ant no better vorkers?Novere in whole dam town.
So ven dis bridge start falling,?Horatius' frends yump back;?And he skol stand alone dar--?He ban brave lumberyack.?Then he yump into Tiber,?And say, "Ay skol svim home!"?Dis har ban how Horatius?Skol turn gude trick for Rome.
WILLIAM TELL
Dar ban a man named Villiam Tell?Who ban a qvite gude shot.?Ay bet yu, ven he tak nice aim,?He alvays hit the spot.?Ay s'pose he hunting every day?And killing lots of game;?Ef he ban missing such a chance,?Ay tenk it ban a shame.
Some fallers yump on him von day,?And taking him to yail,?And tal him he skol have to pay?Sax tousand dollars' bail.?"Yeew hiz!" say Tell. "Sax tousand bones!?Ay ant got saxty cents!"?And so dey mak him breaking stones?Behind big iron fence.
Den Olaf Gessler say to him:?"Bill, yu ban qvite gude shot,?So ay skol give yu yust von chance?To vinning nice yack pot.?Yure son ban purty brave young kid;?Ay tell yu, on the dead,?Yu skol go free ef you can shoot?Dis apple off his head."
"Yerusalem!" say Bill, "ef you?Skol give me drenk of bock,?Ay bet yu ay can shoot dis fruit?Off little Yimmie's block;?But, ef ay shoot tu low, val, den?Yust sidestep qvick, by heck,?Or yu skol finding little bunch?Of arrows in yure neck!"
So Olaf frame it op for Bill,?And Bill he tak gude aim,?And shoot at little Yimmie's block,--?Ay tal yu, he ban game.?And Bill skol knocking apple off,?And Yim vent back to school;?But Olaf put Bill back in yail,?And tal him, "April fool!"
THE COURTSHIP OF MILES STANDISH
Miles Standish ban having a courtship?Ven all of his fighting ban tru;?Maester Longfaller tal me about it,?And so ay skol tal it to yu.?He say to his room-mate, Yohn Alden:?"Yu know dis Priscilla, ay s'pose.?Last veek, ven ay try to get busy,?Priscilla yust turn op her nose."
Yohn Alden ban nervy young faller.?So Standish yust tal him: "Old pal,?Pleese boost me to dis har Priscilla,?Yu know ay can't talk wery val.?Pleese tal her ay ban a gude soldier,?And say ay have money in bank.?Ay'd du dis myself, but, ay tal yu,?My manners in parlor ban rank."
So Yohn go and call on Priscilla,?And happen to finding her in;?He sit close beside her on sofa,?And give her gude lots of his chin.?"Miles Standish," he say, "ban gude faller,?Hot stuff vith his pistol and knife;?And so ay ban coming to tal yu?He'd lak yu, Priscilla, for vife."
Priscilla, she listen to Alden,?And den give him cute little venk,?And say: "Vy not speak for yureself, Yohn??Miles Standish ban lobster, ay tenk."?So Standish get double crossed planty;?And dat's yust vat AY vant, by yee,?Ef ever ay get any faller?To doing my sparking for me!
ROBINSON CRUSOE
Maester Robinson Crusoe ban lonely old faller?Who ban on an island gude long time ago;?His friends all ban lost in a yolly big shipwreck;?But Robinson alvays ban lucky, yu know.?He get on dis island, and can't get avay,?"By yiminy," say Crusoe, "ay tenk ay skol stay!"
Von day some cannibals com to dis island,?And brenging some frends just