The Napoleon of the People | Page 3

and armies like swarms of ants; because it is a country
full of genii and crocodiles, where they have built up pyramids as big
as our mountains, the fancy took them to stow their kings under the
pyramids, so as to keep them fresh, a thing which mightily pleases
them all round out there. Whereupon, as we landed, the Little Corporal
said to us:
"My children, the country which you are about to conquer worships a
lot of idols which you must respect, because the Frenchman ought to be
on good terms with all the world, and fight people without giving
annoyance. Get it well into your heads to let everything alone at first;
for we shall have it all by and by! and forward!"
So far so good. But all those people had heard a prophecy of Napoleon,
under the name of /Kebir Bonaberdis/; a word which in our lingo
means, "The Sultan fires a shot," and they feared him like the devil. So
the Grand Turk, Asia, and Africa have recourse to magic, and they send
a demon against us, named the Mahdi, who it was thought had come
down from heaven on a white charger which, like its master was
bullet-proof, and the pair of them lived on the air of that part of the
world. There are people who have seen them, but for my part I cannot

give you any certain informations about them. They were the divinities
of Arabia and of the Mamelukes who wished their troopers to believe
that the Mahdi had the power of preventing them from dying in battle.
They gave out that he was an angel sent down to wage war on
Napoleon, and to get back Solomon's seal, part of their paraphernalia
which they pretended our general had stolen. You will readily
understand that we made them cry peccavi all the same.
Ah, just tell me now how they came to know about that compact of
Napoleon's? Was that natural?
They took it into their heads for certain that he commanded the genii,
and that he went from place to place like a bird in the twinkling of an
eye; and it is a fact that he was everywhere. At length it came about
that he carried off a queen of theirs. She was the private property of a
Mameluke, who, although he had several more of them, flatly refused
to strike a bargain, though "the other" offered all his treasures for her
and diamonds as big as pigeon's eggs. When things had come to that
pass, they could not well be settled without a good deal of fighting; and
there was fighting enough for everybody and no mistake about it.
Then we are drawn up before Alexandria, and again at Gizeh, and
before the Pyramids. We had to march over the sands and in the sun;
people whose eyes dazzled used to see water that they could not drink
and shade that made them fume. But we made short work of the
Mamelukes as usual, and everything goes down before the voice of
Napoleon, who seizes Upper and Lower Egypt and Arabia, far and
wide, till we came to the capitals of kingdoms which no longer existed,
where there were thousands and thousands of statues of all the devils in
creation, all done to the life, and another curious thing too, any quantity
of lizards. A confounded country where any one could have as many
acres of land as he wished for as little as he pleased.
While he was busy inland, where he meant to carry out some wonderful
ideas of his, the English burn his fleet for him in Aboukir Bay, for they
never could do enough to annoy us. But Napoleon, who was respected
East and West, and called "My Son" by the Pope, and "My dear Father"
by Mahomet's cousin, makes up his mind to have his revenge on
England, and to take India in exchange for his fleet. He set out to lead
us into Asia, by way of the Red Sea, through a country where there
were palaces for halting-places, and nothing but gold and diamonds to

pay the troops with, when the Mahdi comes to an understanding with
the Plague, and sends it among us to make a break in our victories. Halt!
Then every man files off to that parade from which no one comes back
on his two feet. The dying soldier cannot take Acre, into which he
forces an entrance three times with a warrior's impetuous enthusiasm;
the Plague was too strong for us; there was not even time to say "Your
servant, sir!" to the Plague. Every man was down with it. Napoleon
alone was as fresh as a rose; the whole army saw him drinking in the
Plague