The Mysteries of Paris, vol 3 | Page 5

the governor? It is singular, as you say. What the devil was he doing in that position? I should think it would have given him the apoplexy, unless his habits, as you say, have changed very suddenly."
"How wearisome you are, Chalamel! I mean that it was the deed which I presented wrong end foremost."
"How wild he must have been!"
"Not at all; he didn't even perceive it. He looked at it for ten minutes, with his bloodshot eyes fixed upon it, and then he gave it back to me, saying: 'Quite correct.'"
"Still upside down?"
"Still."
"How could he have read the deed?"
"He couldn't, unless he can read upside down."
"No man can do that."
"He looked so gloomy and savage, that I dared not open my lips, and I went away as if nothing had happened."
"I have got something to tell you. Four days ago I was in the office of the head clerk, and in come one client, two clients, three clients, with whom the governor had made an appointment. They waited impatiently, and requested me to go and rap at the door of the study. I rapped, and, receiving no answer, I walked in."
"Well, what did you see?"
"M. Ferrand lying upon his arms, which were placed upon the table, and his bald head uncovered. He did not stir."
"He was asleep, probably."
"I thought so. I approached him, and said: 'There are some clients outside, who wish to see you.' He did not move. 'M. Ferrand!' No reply. At length I touched his shoulder, and he started up as if the devil had bitten him. His motion was so sudden, that his big glasses fell off from his nose, and I saw--you never can believe it--"
"Out with it. What did you see?"
"Tears!"
"Nonsense!"
"Isn't he a queer bird?"
"The governor weep! Get out of the way!"
"When you see him cry, ladybirds will play on the French horn!"
"And monkeys chew tobacco!"
"Pshaw! your nonsense won't prevent me from knowing what I saw with my own eyes. I tell you I saw him as I have described."
"What! weeping?"
"Yes, weeping. And after that, he was wroth at being caught in such a lachrymose condition, and sung out to me: 'Go away--go away!' 'But, sir.--' 'Go away, I tell you!' 'There are some clients in the office, with whom you have made an appointment, sir, and--' 'I haven't the time to see them. Let them go to the devil, and you with them.' Thereupon he arose, as furious as he could be, and looked so much as if he would kick me out at the door, that I didn't wait for the compliment, but hooked it, and told the clients to leave also. They didn't look greatly pleased, I assure you; but for the reputation of the office, I told them that the governor had caught the whooping-cough."
This conversation was now interrupted by the entrance of the principal clerk, who came in as if pressed with business. His appearance was hailed by a general acclamation, and all eyes were turned toward the turkey.
"Without being uncivil, my lord, I must say that you have detained us from breakfast for a long time," said Chalamel. "You must look out, for the next time our appetites won't be under such good control."
"It is not my fault, I assure you; I was more impatient than you are--the governor must be mad!"
"That's what I have been saying."
"But the madness of the governor ought not to keep us from eating."
"It should have the opposite effect."
"We can talk just as well with our mouths full."
"A thousand times better," said the office-boy.
Chalamel was carving the turkey, and he said to the principal clerk: "What reason have you for thinking that the governor is crazy?"
"We were inclined to think that he had become perfectly stupid, when he agreed to give us forty sous per head for our daily breakfast."
"I confess that I was as much surprised as you are, gentlemen; but it is a trifle, actually a trifle, compared with what has just occurred."
"You don't say so!" said another.
"Is the notary crazy enough to invite us to dine every day, at his expense, at the Cadran-Bleu?"
"And give us tickets to the play, after dinner?"
"And after that, take us to the caf��, to round off with punch?"
"And after that a la--"
"Gentlemen, just as far as you please; but the scene which I have just observed is more frightful than funny."
"Give us the scene, I beg of you."
"That's right; don't trouble yourself about the breakfast--we are all ears."
"And all jaws! I see through you, my pretties! while I am speaking, your teeth will be in motion, and the turkey would be finished before my story. Be patient; I will reserve it for the dessert."
We do not know whether it was the goad of hunger or curiosity that stimulated the mastication of the young limbs