The Mule-Bone | Page 8

me the cub that time. Look at me ... this is Booker T Washington dealing these cards. (Shuffles cards grandly and gives them to LIGE to cut.) Wanta cut 'em?
LIGE: Yeah, cut 'em and shoot 'em. I'd cut behind my ma. (He cuts the cards.)
WALTER: (Turning to player at left, FRANK, LIGE'S partner) What you saying, Frank?
FRANK: I'm beggin'. (LIGE is trying to peep at cards.)
WALTER: (Turning to LIGE) Stop peepin' at them cards, Lige. (To FRANK) Did you say you was beggin' or standin'?
FRANK: I'm beggin'.
WALTER: Get up off your knees. Go ahead and tell 'em I sent you.
FRANK: Well, that makes us four.
WALTER: I don't care if you is. (Pulls a quarter out of his pocket and lays it down on the box.) Twenty-five cents says I know the best one. Let's go. (Everybody puts down a quarter.)
FRANK: What you want me to play for you partner?
LIGE: Play me a club. (The play goes around to dealer, WALTER, who gets up and takes the card off the top of the deck and slams it down on the table.)
WALTER: Get up ol' deuce of deamonds and gallop off with your load. (TO LUM) Partner, how many times you seen the deck?
LUM: Two times.
WALTER: Well, then I'm gonna pull off, partner. Watch this ol' queen. (Everyone plays) Ha! Ha! Wash day and no soap. (Takes the jack of diamonds and sticks him up on his forehead. Stands up on his feet.) Partner, I'm dumping to you ... play your king. (When it comes to his play LUM, too, stands up. The others get up and they, too, excitedly slam their cards down.) Now, come on in this kitchen and let me splice that cabbage! (He slams down the ace of diamonds. Pats the jack on his for head, sings:) Hey, hey, back up, jenny, get your load. (Talking) Dump to that jack, boys, dump to it. High, low, jack and the game and four. One to go. We're four wid you, boys.
LIGE: Yeah, but you-all playin' catch-up.
FRANK: Gimme them cards ... lemme deal some.
LIGE: Frank, now you really got responsibility on you. They's got one game on us.
FRANK: Aw, man, I'm gonna deal 'em up a mess. This deal's in the White House. (He shuffles and puts the cards down for WALTER to cut.) Cut 'em.
WALTER: Nope, I never cut green timber. (FRANK deals and turns the card up.)
FRANK: Hearts, boys. (He turns up an ace.)
LUM: Aw, you snatched that ace, nigger.
WALTER: Yeah, they done carried the cub to us, partner.
LIGE: Oh, he didn't do no such a thing. That ace was turned fair. We jus' too hard for you ... we eats our dinner out a the blacksmith shop.
WALTER: Aw, you all cheatin'. You know it wasn't fair.
FRANK: Aw, shut up, you all jus' whoopin' and hollerin' for nothin'. Tryin' to bully the game. (FRANK and LIGE rise and shake hands grandly.)
LIGE: Mr. Hoover, you sho is a noble president. We done stuck these niggers full of cobs. They done got scared to play us.
LIGE (?) Scared to play you? Get back down to this table, let me spread my mess.
LOUNGER: Yonder comes Elder Simms. You all better squat that rabbit. They'll be having you all up in the church for playin' cards.
(FRANK grabs up the cards and puts them in his pocket quickly. Everybody picks up the money and looks unconcerned as the preacher enters. Enter ELDER SIMMS with his two prim-looking little children by the hand.)
ELDER SIMMS: How do, children. Right warm for this time in November, ain't it?
VOICE: Yes sir, Reverend, sho is. How's Sister Simms?
SIMMS: She's feelin' kinda po'ly today. (Goes on in store with his children)
VOICE: (Whispering loudly) Don't see how that great big ole powerful woman could be sick. Look like she could go bear huntin' with her fist.
ANOTHER VOICE: She look jus' as good as you-all's Baptist pastor's wife. Pshaw, you ain't seen no big woman, nohow, man. I seen one once so big she went to whip her little boy and he run up under her belly and hid six months 'fore she could find him.
ANOTHER VOICE: Well, I knowed a woman so little that she had to get up on a soap box to look over a grain of sand.
(REV. SIMMS comes out of store, each child behind him sucking a stick of candy.)
SIMMS: (To his children) Run on home to your mother and don't get dirty on the way. (The two children start primly off down the street but just out of sight one of them utters a loud cry.)
SIMMS'S CHILD: (Off stage) Papa, papa. Nunkie's trying to lick my candy.
SIMMS: I told you to go on and leave them other children alone.
VOICE ON PORCH: (Kidding) Lum, whyn't you tend to your business.
(TOWN MARSHALL rises and shoos the children