The Monikins | Page 6

myself, therefore, for what the French call les pieces
justificatives of my theories, as well as of my facts, I see no better way
to prepare the reader to believe me, than by giving an unvarnished the
result of the orange-woman's application; for had my worthy ancestor
been subjected to the happy accidents and generous caprices of
voluntary charity, it is more than probable I should be driven to throw a
veil over those important years of his life that were notoriously passed
in the work-house, but which, in consequence of that occurrence, are
now easily authenticated by valid minutes and documentary evidence.
Thus it is that there exists no void in the annals of our family, even that
period which is usually remembered through gossiping and idle tales in
the lives of most men, being matter of legal record in that of my
progenitor, and so continued to be down to the day of his presumed
majority, since he was indebted to a careful master the moment the
parish could with any legality, putting decency quite out of the question,
get rid of him. I ought to have said, that the orange-woman, taking a
hint from the sign of a butcher opposite to whose door my ancestor was
found, had very cleverly given him the name of Thomas Goldencalf.
This second important transition in the affairs of my father, might be
deemed a presage of his future fortunes. He was bound apprentice to a
trader in fancy articles, or a shopkeeper who dealt in such objects as are
usually purchased by those who do not well know what to do with their
money. This trade was of immense advantage to the future prosperity
of the young adventurer; for, in addition to the known fact that they
who amuse are much better paid than they who instruct their
fellow-creatures, his situation enabled him to study those caprices of
men, which, properly improved, are of themselves a mine of wealth, as
well as to gain a knowledge of the important truth that the greatest
events of this life are much oftener the result of impulse than of
calculation.
I have it by a direct tradition, orally conveyed from the lips of my
ancestor, that no one could be more lucky than himself in the character
of his master. This personage, who came, in time, to be my maternal

grandfather, was one of those wary traders who encourage others in
their follies, with a view to his own advantage, and the experience of
fifty years had rendered him so expert in the practices of his calling,
that it was seldom he struck out a new vein in his mine, without finding
himself rewarded for the enterprise, by a success that was fully equal to
his expectations,
"Tom," he said one day to his apprentice, when time had produced
confidence and awakened sympathies between them, "thou art a lucky
youth, or the parish officer would never have brought thee to my door.
Thou little knowest the wealth that is in store for thee, or the treasures
that are at thy command, if thou provest diligent, and in particular
faithful to my interests." My provident grandfather never missed an
occasion to throw in a useful moral, notwithstanding the general
character of veracity that distinguished his commerce. "Now, what dost
think, lad, may be the amount of my capital?"
My ancestor in the male line hesitated to reply, for, hitherto, his ideas
had been confined to the profits; never having dared to lift his thoughts
as high as that source from which he could not but see they flowed in a
very ample stream; but thrown upon himself by so unexpected a
question, and being quick at figures, after adding ten per cent. to the
sum which he knew the last year had given as the net avail of their joint
ingenuity, he named the amount, in answered to the interrogatory.
My maternal grandfather laughed in the face of my direct lineal
ancestor.
"Thou judgest, Tom," he said, when his mirth was a little abated, "by
what thou thinkest is the cost of the actual stock before thine eyes,
when thou shouldst take into the account that which I term our floating
capital."
Tom pondered a moment, for while he knew that his master had money
in the funds, he did not account that as any portion of the available
means connected with his ordinary business; and as for a floating
capital, he did not well see how it could be of much account, since the
disproportion between the cost and the selling prices of the different

articles in which they dealt was so great, that there was no particular
use in such an investment. As his master, however, rarely paid for
anything until he was in