The Miser | Page 6

for anyone to spend
money upon wigs, when we have hair of our own growth, which costs
nothing. I will lay a wager that, in wigs and ribbons alone, there are
certainly twenty pistoles spent, and twenty pistoles brings in at least
eighteen livres six sous eight deniers per annum, at only eight per cent
interest.
CLE. You are quite right.
HAR. Enough on this subject; let us talk of something else. (_Aside,
noticing CLÉANTE and ÉLISE, who make signs to one another_) I
believe they are making signs to one another to pick my pocket. (Aloud)
What do you mean by those signs?
ELI. We are hesitating as to who shall speak first, for we both have
something to tell you.

HAR. And I also have something to tell you both.
CLE. We wanted to speak to you about marriage, father.
HAR. The very thing I wish to speak to you about.
ELI. Ah! my father!
HAR. What is the meaning of that exclamation? Is it the word,
daughter, or the thing itself that frightens you?
CLE. Marriage may frighten us both according to the way you take it;
and our feelings may perhaps not coincide with your choice.
HAR. A little patience, if you please. You need not be alarmed. I know
what is good for you both, and you will have no reason to complain of
anything I intend to do. To begin at the beginning. (To CLÉANTE) Do
you know, tell me, a young person, called Marianne, who lives not far
from here?
CLE. Yes, father.
HAR. And you?
ELI. I have heard her spoken of.
HAR. Well, my son, and how do you like the girl?
CLE. She is very charming.
HAR. Her face?
CLE. Modest and intelligent.
HAR. Her air and manner?
CLE. Perfect, undoubtedly.
HAR. Do you not think that such a girl well deserves to be thought of?

CLE. Yes, father.
HAR. She would form a very desirable match?
CLE. Very desirable.
HAR. That there is every likelihood of her making a thrifty and careful
wife.
CLE. Certainly.
HAR. And that a husband might live very happily with her?
CLE. I have not the least doubt about it.
HAR. There is one little difficulty; I am afraid she has not the fortune
we might reasonably expect.
CLE. Oh, my father, riches are of little importance when one is sure of
marrying a virtuous woman.
HAR. I beg your pardon. Only there is this to be said: that if we do not
find as much money as we could wish, we may make it up in
something else.
CLE. That follows as a matter of course.
HAR. Well, I must say that I am very much pleased to find that you
entirely agree with me, for her modest manner and her gentleness have
won my heart; and I have made up my mind to marry her, provided I
find she has some dowry.
CLE. Eh!
HAR. What now?
CLE. You are resolved, you say...?
HAR. To marry Marianne.

CLE. Who? you? you?
HAR. Yes, I, I, I. What does all this mean?
CLE. I feel a sudden dizziness, and I must withdraw for a little while.
HAR. It will be nothing. Go quickly into the kitchen and drink a large
glass of cold water, it will soon set you all right again.

SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, ÉLISE.
HAR. There goes one of your effeminate fops, with no more stamina
than a chicken. That is what I have resolved for myself, my daughter.
As to your brother, I have thought for him of a certain widow, of whom
I heard this morning; and you I shall give to Mr. Anselme.
ELI. To Mr. Anselme?
HAR. Yes, a staid and prudent man, who is not above fifty, and of
whose riches everybody speaks.
ELI. (curtseying). I have no wish to marry, father, if you please.
HAR. (imitating ÉLISE). And I, my little girl, my darling, I wish you to
marry, if you please.
ELI. (curtseying again). I beg your pardon, my father.
HAR. (again imitating ÉLISE). I beg your pardon, my daughter.
ELI. I am the very humble servant of Mr. Anselme, but (_curtseying
again_), with your leave, I shall not marry him.
HAR. I am your very humble servant, but (again imitating ÉLISE) you
will marry him this very evening.
ELI. This evening?

HAR. This evening.
ELI. (curtseying again). It cannot be done, father.
HAR. (imitating ÉLISE). It will be done, daughter.
ELI. No.
HAR. Yes.
ELI. No, I tell you.
HAR. Yes, I tell you.
ELI. You will never force me to do such a thing
HAR. I will force you to it.
ELI. I had rather kill myself than marry such a man.
HAR. You will not kill yourself, and you will marry him. But did you