The Miraculous Revenge | Page 5

"Such a mistake amounts to insanity. It is true that I myself, awakening
suddenly in the depth of night have found myself convinced that the
position of my bed had been reversed. But on opening my eyes the
illusion ceased. I fear Mr. Hickey is mad. Your best course is this. Send
down to Four Mile Water a perfectly sane investigator; an acute
observer; one whose perceptive faculties, at once healthy and subtle,
are absolutely unclouded by religious prejudice. In a word, send me. I
will report to you the true state of affairs in a few days; and you can
then make arrangements for transferring Hickey from the altar to the
asylum."
"Yes I had intended to send you. You are wonderfully sharp; and you
would make a capital detective if you could only keep your mind to one
point. But your chief qualifications for this business is that you are too
crazy to excite the suspicion of those whom you have to watch. For the
affair may be a trick. If so, I hope and believe that Hickey has no hand
in it. Still, it is my duty to take every precaution."
"Cardinal: may I ask whether traces of insanity have ever appeared in
our family?"
"Except in you and in my grandmother, no. She was a Pole; and you
resemble her personally. Why do you ask?"
"Because it has often occurred to me that you are perhaps a little

cracked. Excuse my candor; but a man who has devoted his life to the
pursuit of a red hat; who accuses everyone else beside himself of being
mad; and is disposed to listen seriously to a tale of a peripatetic
graveyard, can hardly be quite sane. Depend upon it, uncle, you want
rest and change. The blood of your Polish grandmother is in your
veins."
"I hope I may not be committing a sin in sending a ribald on the
church's affairs," he replied, fervently. "However, we must use the
instruments put into our hands. Is it agreed that you go?"
"Had you not delayed me with the story, which I might as well have
learned on the spot, I should have been there already."
"There is no occasion for impatience, Zeno. I must send to Hickey and
find a place for you. I shall tell him you are going to recover your
health, as, in fact, you are. And, Zeno, in Heaven's name be discreet.
Try to act like a man of sense. Do not dispute with Hickey on matters
of religion. Since you are my nephew, you had better not disgrace me."
"I shall become an ardent Catholic, and do you infinite credit, uncle."
"I wish you would, although you would hardly be an acquisition to the
Church. And now I must turn you out. It is nearly three o'clock; and I
need some sleep. Do you know your way back to your hotel?"
"I need not stir. I can sleep in this chair. Go to bed, and never mind
me."
"I shall not close my eyes until you are safely out of the house. Come,
rouse yourself and say good-night."
* * * * *
The following is a copy of my first report to the Cardinal:--
"Four Mile Water, County Wicklow, 10th August.
"My Dear Uncle,

"The miracle is genuine. I have affected perfect credulity in order to
throw the Hickeys and countryfolk off their guard with me. I have
listened to their method of convincing the sceptical strangers. I have
examined the ordnance maps, and cross-examined the neighboring
Protestant gentlefolk. I have spent a day upon the ground on each side
of the water, and have visited it at midnight. I have considered the
upheaval theories, subsidence theories, volcanic theories, and tidal
wave theories which the provincial savants have suggested. They are all
untenable. There is only one scoffer in the district, an Orangeman; and
he admits the removal of the cemetery, but says it was dug up and
transplanted in the night by a body of men under the command of
Father Tom. This is also out of the question. The interment of
Brimstone Billy was the first which had taken place for four years; and
his is the only grave which bears the trace of recent digging. It is alone
on the north bank; and the inhabitants shun it after night fall. As each
passer-by during the day throws a stone upon it, it will soon be marked
by a large cairn. The graveyard, with a ruined stone chapel still
standing in its midst, is on the south side. You may send down a
committee to investigate the matter as soon as you please. There can be
no doubt as to the miracle having actually taken place, as recorded by
Hickey. As for