The Merry Wives of Windsor | Page 6

so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh.
CAIUS. Vell.
SIMPLE. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to--
QUICKLY. Peace, I pray you.
CAIUS. Peace-a your tongue!--Speak-a your tale.
SIMPLE. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master, in the way of marriage.
QUICKLY. This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not.
CAIUS. Sir Hugh send-a you?--Rugby, baillez me some paper: tarry you a little-a while. [Writes.]
QUICKLY. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been throughly moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I'll do you your master what good I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master--I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself--
SIMPLE. 'Tis a great charge to come under one body's hand.
QUICKLY. Are you avis'd o' that? You shall find it a great charge; and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding,--to tell you in your ear,--I would have no words of it--my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind, that's neither here nor there.
CAIUS. You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de Park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good you tarry here: by gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.
[Exit SIMPLE.]
QUICKLY. Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
CAIUS. It is no matter-a ver dat:--do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jartiere to measure our weapon. By gar, I vill myself have Anne Page.
QUICKLY. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer!
CAIUS. Rugby, come to the court vit me. By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door. Follow my heels, Rugby.
[Exeunt CAIUS and RUGBY.]
QUICKLY. You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.
FENTON. [Within.] Who's within there? ho!
QUICKLY. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.
[Enter FENTON.]
FENTON. How now, good woman! how dost thou?
QUICKLY. The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.
FENTON. What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne?
QUICKLY. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it.
FENTON. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose my suit?
QUICKLY. Troth, sir, all is in His hands above; but notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book she loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye?
FENTON. Yes, marry, have I; what of that?
QUICKLY. Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is such another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread. We had an hour's talk of that wart; I shall never laugh but in that maid's company;--but, indeed, she is given too much to allicholy and musing. But for you --well, go to.
FENTON. Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me.
QUICKLY. Will I? i' faith, that we will; and I will tell your worship more of the wart the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers.
FENTON. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.
QUICKLY. Farewell to your worship.--[Exit FENTON.] Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; for I know Anne's mind as well as another does. Out upon 't, what have I forgot?
[Exit.]

ACT II.
SCENE 1. Before PAGE'S house
[Enter MISTRESS PAGE, with a letter.]
MRS. PAGE. What! have I scaped love-letters in the holiday-time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let me see.
'Ask me no reason why I love you; for though Love use Reason for his precisian, he admits him not for his counsellor. You are not young, no more am I; go to, then, there's sympathy: you are merry, so am I; ha! ha! then there's more sympathy; you love sack, and so do I; would