The Merry-Thought: or the Glass-Window and Bog-House Miscellany | Page 9

1710.
_Underwritten._
Friend Captain T,?If thou can'st C,?Mind what I have to say to thee,?Thy Strumpet Wh--re abominable,?Which thou didst kiss upon a Table,?Has made thy manly Parts unable.
_Farewel, &c. Z. B._
_Toy, at Hampton-Court_, 1708.
D - - - n _Molley H----ns_ for her Pride,?She'll suffer none but Lords to ride:?But why the Devil should I care,?Since I can find another Mare?
_L. M. August._
_Star-Inn at Coventry, in a Window._
_Letter to _Will S - - - rs_, Esq;_
Dear _Will_,?I ever will?Be at your will,?Whene'er you will,?And where you will;?So that your Will?Be Good-Will,?I never will?Dispute your Will;?But give you Will?For Will.
At this Time,?At all Times,?Or any Time,?But such Times?As bad Times:?For Lemon Thyme,?Or Common Time,?Or Tripple Time,?Are not Times?Like your Times?And my Times?For Pastimes.?Then betimes?Suit your Time?To my Time;?Or my Time?Is lost Time.
I wish you well,?And hope you're well,?As I am well;?So all's well?That ends well;?Then farewell.
_R. B. April_ 17. 1714.
_Star at Coventry, on a Window._
Drunk at _Comb-Abbey_, horrid drunk;?Hither I came, and met my fav'rite Punk.?But she as well might have embrac'd a Log, }?All Night I snor'd, and grunted like a Hog, }?Then was not I a sad confounded Dog! }
_R. H._
I'll never get drunk again,?For my Head's full of Pain,?And it grieves me to think,?That by Dint of good Drink,?I should lie with my _Phillis_ in vain.
_R. H._ 1712.
_Salisbury, the King's Arms, on the Wall._
Here was a 'Pothecary's Wife,?Who never lov'd her Spouse in all her Life;?And for want of his Handle,?Made use of a Candle:
? Light as a Feather, To bring Things together.
_S. C._ 1710.
_Underwritten._
Thou Fool, 'twas done for want of Sense,?I tickl'd her Concupiscence:
And that is enough to save her Credit.
_S. B._ 1712.
_Under this is wrote._
From the Story above,?The Girls that love,?Have learn'd the Use of Candles;?And since that, by _Jove_,?And the God of Love,?We have lost the Use of Handles.
_W. S----pe_, _Feb._ 2. 1714.
_Stockbridge, at the Kings-Head._
_Salley Stukely_ is the prettiest Girl in _England_,?I wish I was to play a Game with her single-hand.
_R. S._
_Windsor, at the Cardinal's-Cap._
Now my Sun is retired,?My Heart is all fired;?My _Sylvia_'s lost?And I am toss'd,?Into Love's Flames,?What shall I do to gain her??Sure something must restrain her,
Or else she'd come.?Then I'm undone.?Help me, dear _Cupid_,?Or I shall grow stupid;?And if you won't help me,?Then _Bacchus_ protect me.
_R. M._ 1709.
_Greyhound, at Maidenhead._
Dear _Doll_ is a Prude,?And I tumbled her down;?And I tickled her Fancy?For half a Crown.
_R. M----r_, _July_ 17. 1714.
_At the Same Place._
_CHLOE's Character._
Her Voice is as clear as the Stream;?Her Character light as the Sun;?Her Dealings are hard as a Stone;?But her Promise as sure as a Gun.
_A. P - - pe_, 1712.
_At the same Place._
A Hog, a Monkey, and an Ass, }?Were here last Night to drink a Glass, }?When all at length it came to pass, }?That the Hog and the Monkey,?Grew so drunkey,?That both were ready to kiss the A - - se?of _Tom. Dingle_.
_April_ 17. 1710.
_At the White-Hart, Windsor._
How, do I fear my Lover will not come;?And yet I bid him not: But should he come,?Then let him read ----
Let _Man - - r - - ing_ love on, I will requite thee,?Taming my wild Heart to thy loving Hand.?If thou dost love, my Kindness shall incite thee,?To bind our Loves up in a holy Band.
_Anne Oph - - - lia_, 1708.
_Salisbury, at the King's-Arms; seemingly to give the Reason why Miles seem shorter in one Place than another._
When I set out from _London_, I tramp'd on the Way, }?I was brisk, and my Courage and Heart was full gay; }?So I fancy'd my Journey was nothing but Play, }?But as I went forward, a Day or two longer, } The Miles seem'd more lengthen'd as I grew less stronger, } And I wish'd in this Case to grow younger and younger. }
_S. O._ _Oct._ 17. 1717.
I walk'd all the Way between _London_ and _Exeter_.
_At the Crown at Harlow._
When Daizies gay, and Violets blue,?And Cowslips with their yellow Hue,?And Lady's Smocks of Silver white,?Paint all the Meadows with Delight,?Then shall I meet my charming Fair,?On ouzy Banks to take the Air;?There shall we taste delicious Love,?Equal to what is known Above.
_R. T. April_ 14. 1716.
_Upon a Window at the Old Crown at Ware in Hertfordshire; supposed to be wrote by a slighted Lover._
Go you false and faithless Fair,?Gods above forbid my Fate,?First me Joys you do prepare,?Then you Sorrows do create;?For 'tis the Nature of your Sex,?First to pleasure, then perplex,?Happy's he without your Smiles.?Ever-blest he lives content;?In exorbitant Exiles,?Never can his Fate repent;?All his Wishes and Desires,?To destroy Love's burning Fires.
_R. C. June_ 14. 1731.
_At the Crown at Epping._
Tom. Rudge _won the Hat from_ George Redman.
_April_ 17. 1714.
He lifted with such Might and Strength,?As would have hurl'd him twice his Length,?And dash'd his Brains (if any) out:?But _Mars_ that still protects the stout,?In Pudding-Time came to his