The McNaughtens | Page 5

you in a temper--but without losing time we must make our inventory. This costume for chicanery surely belonged to some Scotsman, and this is an Irish peasant. (displaying clothes) Now, this one is rather modish--usable for a hunt, I think.
Captain Oh, Heavens!
Spruce (startled by the Captain's outburst) Where will all this thing end?
Captain This adventure isn't easily believed.
Spruce Sir, what's wrong with you--are you getting dizzy?
Captain It's a miracle. You won't believe it when I tell you.
Spruce Sir, I will, I promise you--if you don't lie.
Captain As you know, I was born a McNaughten, near Edinburgh. I am of a blood which ceded valor to no one. You know that having lost father, mother, and relatives, and penniless, I was left to spend my days in the highlands. To escape, I joined the army when I was only fifteen. Only I had a brother, who lived with me in the home of my uncle--a rich old miser who wouldn't give me a penny. So I ran away, and they haven't heard of me for many years. And I've heard from many sources that both my brother and my uncle thought me dead.
Spruce I know all that. And I know your mother died in giving birth to you and that same brother. You and your brother are as indistinguishable as two glasses of milk. In short, you are twins. So what?
Captain We look so much alike that the finest painters would be easily deceived. Even our own father considered putting a sign on us to tell us apart.
Spruce I've heard the story of your life several times. What has that story got to do with our present troubles?
Captain You will be astonished. This trunk belongs to my brother!
Spruce How about that?
Captain And I learn from this letter that our uncle is dead--
Spruce Amazing--
Captain --and has left all his money to this twin of mine.
Spruce That is surprising news--no doubt about it. What good does that do?
Captain Listen attentively. This is worth a good deal of reflection.
Spruce I'm listening.
Captain (reading the letter) "I await you, sir, to pay you the sixty thousand pounds which your uncle has left you by his will, and to marry you to Miss Flavella Hastings, of whom I have spoken to you several times in my letters. The lady likes you very much, and her father is very determined on this marriage. Don't waste time in getting to London. Your very humble servant, Charles Torrington."
Spruce Now, I begin to see--
Captain Torrington is the name of the honest solicitor who worked for my father. The date, the envelope, and the name, all confirm my conclusion. My brother is coming to London in response to this letter, and, just like me, put his trunk on the coach. And, of course, the name and address caused your error. I conclude, therefor, not very cleverly, that my brother is, perhaps, already in London.
Spruce That's probably right. I am stupefied by the surprising effects of chance. Necessity caused me to make a mistake, and our fortune will spring from my stupidity. In a single day, we find a decrepit old uncle buried--who leaves behind him a fortune, which in life, he prevented you from attaining. We also find a brother who will receive the fortune, and relieve you of your lady love. Coincidences like these are capable of overwhelming the cleverest person!
Captain We've got to put our heads together about this. I have a good feeling about it.
Spruce We could really use that sixty thousand pounds.
Captain To have them, we will have to use all our skill. They belong to me as much as to my brother. We must prevent my brother from meeting old Torrington. Go--run--find out--don't lose a minute.
Spruce You know my zeal and eagerness. If he's in London, I have faithful friends who will know of it in less than an hour.
Captain I am going to Urania. Unfortunately, she knows I am back. I must still pretend to burn with love for her. She has no idea I'm aflame for Flavella. You know what Urania is like--the old girl loves to break men's hearts. The airs that old woman puts on are really insufferable. In fact, she's crazy and loves to be flattered.
Spruce You're just the man for that, if I may say so, sir.
Captain What a ray of hope breaks through for my love. While I'm still uncertain what to do about my brother, I'd best manage her. Go back to the customs house, to the stage coach.
Spruce If I'm not mistaken, here comes Urania and Jenny now.
Captain Go, quickly, where I send you.
(Exit Spruce)
(Enter Urania and Jenny, her maid)
Urania What a joy. We will see Captain McNaughten again today. I cannot stay put. Such excitement--agitates me. How do you think I look, Jenny?
Jenny Charming. Your beauty surprises,