The Master of Mrs Chilvers | Page 6

French Revolution was nursed in the salons of the French nobility.
When the true meaning of the woman's movement is understood we
shall have to get on without the male sympathiser.
[A pause.]
ANNYS What do you understand is the true meaning of the woman's
movement?
ELIZABETH The dragging down of man from his position of
supremacy. What else can it mean?
ANNYS Something much better. The lifting up of woman to be his
partner.
ELIZABETH My dear Annys, the men who to-day are advocating
votes for women are doing so in the hope of securing obedient
supporters for their own political schemes. In New Zealand the working
man brings his female relations in a van to the poll, and sees to it that
they vote in accordance with his orders. When man once grasps the fact
that woman is not going to be his henchman, but his rival, men and
women will face one another as enemies.
[The door opens. HAKE announces LADY MOGTON and DORIAN
ST. HERBERT. LADY MOGTON is a large, strong-featured woman,
with a naturally loud voice. She is dressed with studied carelessness.
DORIAN ST. HERBERT, K.C., is a tall, thin man, about thirty. He is
elegantly, almost dandily dressed.]
ANNYS [Kissing her mother.] Have you had lunch?
LADY MOGTON In the train.
PHOEBE [Who has also kissed her mother and shaken hands with ST.
HERBERT.] We are all here except Villiers. She's coming. Did you
have a good meeting?

LADY MOGTON Fairly. Some young fool had chained himself to a
pillar and thrown the key out of window.
PHOEBE What did you do?
LADY MOGTON Tied a sack over his head and left him there.
[She turns aside for a moment to talk to ST. HERBERT, who has taken
some papers from his despatch-box.]
ANNYS [To ELIZABETH.] We must finish out our talk some other
time. You are quite wrong.
ELIZABETH Perhaps.
LADY MOGTON We had better begin. I have only got half an hour.
JANET I saw Mrs. Villiers. She promised she'd come.
LADY MOGTON You should have told her we were going to be
photographed. Then she'd have been punctual. [She has taken her seat
at the table. ST. HERBERT at her right.] Better put another chair in
case she does turn up.
JANET [Does so.] Shall I take any notes?
LADY MOGTON No. [To ANNYS.] Give instructions that we are not
to be interrupted for anything. [ANNYS rings bell.]
ST. HERBERT [He turns to PHOEBE, on his right.] Have you heard
the latest?
There was an old man of Hong Kong, Whose language was terribly
strong.
[Enter HAKE. He brings a bottle and glass, which he places.]
ANNYS Oh, Hake, please, don't let us be interrupted for anything. If
Mrs. Mountcalm-Villiers comes, show her up. But nobody else.

HAKE Yes, ma'am.
ST. HERBERT [Continuing.]
It wasn't the words That frightened the birds, 'Twas the 'orrible
double-entendre.
LADY MOGTON [Who has sat waiting in grim silence.] Have you
finished?
ST. HERBERT Quite finished.
LADY MOGTON Thank you. [She raps for silence.] You will
understand, please, all, that this is a private meeting of the Council.
Nothing that transpires is to be allowed to leak out. [There is a murmur.]
Silence, please, for Mr. St. Herbert.
ST. HERBERT Before we begin, I should like to remind you, ladies,
that you are, all of you, persons mentally deficient -
[The door opens. MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS enters, announced
by HAKE. She is a showily-dressed, flamboyant lady.]
[HAKE goes out.]
MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS I AM so sorry. I have only just this
minute--[She catches sight of ST. HERBERT.] You naughty creature,
why weren't you at my meeting last night? The Rajah came with both
his wives. We've elected them, all three, honorary members.
LADY MOGTON Do you mind sitting down?
MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS Here, dear? [She takes the vacant
chair.] So nice of you. I read about your meeting. What a clever idea!
LADY MOGTON [Cuts her short.] Yes. We are here to consider a very
important matter. By way of commencement Mr. St. Herbert has just
reminded us that in the eye of the law all women are imbeciles.

MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS I know, dear. Isn't it shocking?
ST. HERBERT Deplorable; but of course not your fault. I mention it
because of its importance to the present matter. Under Clause A of the
Act for the Better Regulation, &c., &c., all persons "mentally deficient"
are debarred from becoming members of Parliament. The classification
has been held to include idiots, infants, and women.
[An interruption. LADY MOGTON hammers.]
Bearing this carefully in mind, we proceed. [He refers to his notes.]
Two years ago a bye-election took place for the South-west division of
Belfast.
MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS My dear, may I? It has just occurred
to me. Why do we never go to Ireland?
LADY MOGTON