The Martial Adventures of Henry and Me

The Martial Adventures of
Henry and Me

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Me
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Title: The Martial Adventures of Henry and Me
Author: William Allen White
Release Date: May, 2004 [EBook #5633] [Yes, we are more than one
year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on July 26, 2002]

Edition: 10
Language: English
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*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE
MARTIAL ADVENTURES OF HENRY AND ME ***

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THE MARTIAL ADVENTURES OF HENRY AND ME
BY WILLIAM ALLEN WHITE
Author of "A Certain Rich Man," etc.

WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY TONY SARG

CONTENTS

CHAPTER
I IN WHICH WE BEGIN OUR SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY
II IN WHICH WE OBSERVE THE "ROCKET'S RED GLARE"
III IN WHICH WE ENCOUNTER "BOMBS BURSTING IN AIR"
IV WHEREIN WE FIND THAT "OUR FLAG IS STILL THERE"
V IN WHICH WE DISCERN THINGS "BY THE DAWN'S EARLY
LIGHT"
VI WHEREIN WE BECOME A TRIO AND JOURNEY TO ITALY
VII WHEREIN WE CONSIDER THE WOMAN PROPOSITION
VIII IN WHICH WE DISCOVER "A NEW HEAVEN AND A NEW
EARTH"

IX IN WHICH WE RETURN TO "THE LAND OF THE FREE"

ILLUSTRATIONS
Frontispiece
And at that it seems a lot of money to pay for a rig which can be worn
at most only two months
"You'll have to put out that cigar, sir"
She often paced the rounds of the deck between us
"Col-o-nel, will you please carry my books?"
So we waved back at them so long as they were in sight
"Donnez moi some soap here and be mighty blame toot sweet about it!"
Eight inches short in one waistband is a catastrophe
One of our party climbed to the roof of the dugout
"Come on! Let's go to the abri!"
So we went back--me holding those khaki trousers up by sheer force of
will and both hands!
He had some trouble lighting his cigarette and was irritated for a
second at his inconvenience
"Oh, yes," answered the Eager Soul to our enquiring eyes. "Mrs.
Chessman--this is practically her hospital"
He was a rare bird; this American going on a big drunk on water
Henry puffed on his dreadnaught pipe and left the lady from Oklahoma
City to me
And he sat cross-legged
As we sat in the car he came down the street beating a snare drum
They were standing on the running board all this time with the train
going forty miles an hour
"What part of the States do you Canadians corme from?"
He told us what happened impersonally as one who is listening to
another man's story in his own mouth
A fat man can't wear the modern American army uniform without
looking like a sack of meal
He wore a scarlet coat of unimaginable vividness, a cutaway coat of
glaring scarlet broadcloth
We thought he might be testing us out as potential spies
And we felt like prize boobs suddenly kidnapped from a tacky party

and dropped into a grand ball
"Well now, sir, you wouldn't be wearing those brown shoes to Lord
Bryce's tea, would you, Mr. White?"

THE MARTIAL ADVENTURES OF HENRY AND ME

CHAPTER I
IN WHICH WE BEGIN OUR SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY
By rights Henry, being the hero of this story, should be introduced in
the first line. But really there isn't so much to say about Henry--Henry J.
Allen for short, as we say in Kansas--Henry J. Allen, editer and owner
of the Wichita Beacon. And to make the dramatis personae complete,
we may consider me as the editer of the Emporia Gazette, and the two
of us as short, fat, bald, middle-aged, inland Americans, from fresh
water colleges in our youth and arrived at New York by way of an
often devions, yet altogether happy route, leading through politics
where it was rough going and unprofitable for years;