The Man of Destiny | Page 6

guest to protect him against the license of the troops, and actually
sports a pair of gold earrings which he would otherwise have hidden
carefully under the winepress with his little equipment of silver plate.
Napoleon, sitting facing her on the further side of the table, and
Napoleon's hat, sword and riding whip lying on the couch, she sees for
the first time. He is working hard, partly at his meal, which he has
discovered how to dispatch, by attacking all the courses simultaneously,
in ten minutes (this practice is the beginning of his downfall), and
partly at a map which he is correcting from memory, occasionally
marking the position of the forces by taking a grapeskin from his mouth
and planting it on the map with his thumb like a wafer. He has a supply
of writing materials before him mixed up in disorder with the dishes
and cruets; and his long hair gets sometimes into the risotto gravy and
sometimes into the ink.

GIUSEPPE. Will your excellency--
NAPOLEON (intent on his map, but cramming himself mechanically
with his left hand). Don't talk. I'm busy.
GIUSEPPE (with perfect goodhumor). Excellency: I obey.
NAPOLEON. Some red ink.
GIUSEPPE. Alas! excellency, there is none.
NAPOLEON (with Corsican facetiousness). Kill something and bring
me its blood.
GIUSEPPE (grinning). There is nothing but your excellency's horse,
the sentinel, the lady upstairs, and my wife.
NAPOLEON. Kill your wife.
GIUSEPPE. Willingly, your excellency; but unhappily I am not strong
enough. She would kill me.
NAPOLEON. That will do equally well.
GIUSEPPE. Your excellency does me too much honor. (Stretching his
hand toward the flask.) Perhaps some wine will answer your
excellency's purpose.
NAPOLEON (hastily protecting the flask, and becoming quite serious).
Wine! No: that would be waste. You are all the same: waste! waste!
waste! (He marks the map with gravy, using his fork as a pen.) Clear
away. (He finishes his wine; pushes back his chair; and uses his napkin,
stretching his legs and leaning back, but still frowning and thinking.)
GIUSEPPE (clearing the table and removing the things to a tray on the
sideboard). Every man to his trade, excellency. We innkeepers have
plenty of cheap wine: we think nothing of spilling it. You great
generals have plenty of cheap blood: you think nothing of spilling it. Is
it not so, excellency?
NAPOLEON. Blood costs nothing: wine costs money. (He rises and
goes to the fireplace. )
GIUSEPPE. They say you are careful of everything except human life,
excellency.
NAPOLEON. Human life, my friend, is the only thing that takes care
of itself. (He throws himself at his ease on the couch.)
GIUSEPPE (admiring him). Ah, excellency, what fools we all are
beside you! If I could only find out the secret of your success!
NAPOLEON. You would make yourself Emperor of Italy, eh?
GIUSEPPE. Too troublesome, excellency: I leave all that to you.

Besides, what would become of my inn if I were Emperor? See how
you enjoy looking on at me whilst I keep the inn for you and wait on
you! Well, I shall enjoy looking on at you whilst you become Emperor
of Europe, and govern the country for me. (Whilst he chatters, he takes
the cloth off without removing the map and inkstand, and takes the
corners in his hands and the middle of the edge in his mouth, to fold it
up.)
NAPOLEON. Emperor of Europe, eh? Why only Europe?
GIUSEPPE. Why, indeed? Emperor of the world, excellency! Why not?
(He folds and rolls up the cloth, emphasizing his phrases by the steps of
the process.) One man is like another (fold): one country is like another
(fold): one battle is like another. (At the last fold, he slaps the cloth on
the table and deftly rolls it up, adding, by way of peroration) Conquer
one: conquer all. (He takes the cloth to the sideboard, and puts it in a
drawer.)
NAPOLEON. And govern for all; fight for all; be everybody's servant
under cover of being everybody's master: Giuseppe.
GIUSEPPE (at the sideboard). Excellency.
NAPOLEON. I forbid you to talk to me about myself.
GIUSEPPE (coming to the foot of the couch). Pardon. Your excellency
is so unlike other great men. It is the subject they like best.
NAPOLEON. Well, talk to me about the subject they like next best,
whatever that may be.
GIUSEPPE (unabashed). Willingly, your excellency. Has your
excellency by any chance caught a glimpse of the lady upstairs?
(Napoleon promptly sits up and looks at him with an interest which
entirely justifies the implied epigram.)
NAPOLEON. How old is she?
GIUSEPPE. The right age, excellency.
NAPOLEON. Do you mean seventeen or thirty?
GIUSEPPE. Thirty, excellency.
NAPOLEON. Goodlooking?
GIUSEPPE. I cannot see with your excellency's eyes: every man must
judge that for himself. In my