The Man from Home | Page 9

profane
hand to cook your national dish. I trust you will be as successful with
that wicked motor of mine.
PIKE [chuckling]. Lord bless your soul, I've put a self-binder together
after a pony-engine had butted it half-way through a brick deepoe!
[Tucks his napkin in collar of his waistcoat and applies himself to the
meal.]
[HORACE and HAWCASTLE read their papers, now and then casting
glances of great annoyance at PIKE.]
[LADY CREECH lets her periodical rest in her lap, and without any
abating or concealment, fixes PIKE with a basilisk glare which
continues. He is unconscious of all this, his back being three-quarters to
their group.]
VASILI [no pause]. You have studied mechanics at the University?
PIKE [smiling]. University? Law, no! On the old man's farm.
[VASILI nods gravely.]
HAWCASTLE [blandly, to HORACE]. Without any disrespect to you,
my dear fellow, what terrific bounders most of your fellow-countrymen
are!
HORACE [greatly irritated]. Do you wonder sis and I have

emancipated ourselves?
HAWCASTLE. Not at all, my dear lad.
VASILI [to PIKE]. Can I persuade you to accept a little of one of my
own national dishes--caviar?
PIKE. Caviar? I've heard of it. I thought it was Rooshian.
VASILI [disturbed, but instantly recovering, himself]. It is German,
also. Will you not?
[He motions MARIANO to serve PIKE. MARIANO places a spoonful
of caviar on a silver dish at PIKE'S right.]
PIKE. I expect I'd never get to the legislature again if the boys heard
about it. Still, I reckon I'm far enough from home to take a few risks.
[He loads a fork with caviar, and with a smile places it in his mouth.
The smile slowly fades, his face becomes thoughtful, then grave; he
slowly sets the fork upon his plate, his eyes turn toward VASILI with a
look both puzzled and plaintive, his mouth firmly closed, his jaw
moving slightly.]
VASILI. I fear you do not like it. A few swallows of vodka will take
away the taste.
[Gives him a glass, which PIKE accepts, drinking a mouthful in haste,
VASILI watching him, sincerely concerned and troubled. PIKE
swallows the vodka, quietly sets the glass down on the table, his eyelids
begin to flutter, he bends a look of suffering and distrust upon VASILI,
slowly rises and closes his eyes, then slowly sits and opens them.
Gradually a faint, distrustful smile appears on his face.]
PIKE [in the voice of a convalescent]. I never had any business to leave
Indiana!
VASILI. I am sorry, my friend.

[PIKE takes another large forkful of caviar.]
VASILI [observing this]. But I thought you did not like the caviar?
PIKE. It's to take away the taste of the vodka.
VASILI [laughing]. I lift my hat to you.
PIKE. You never worked on a farm in your own country, Doc?
VASILI. That has been denied me.
PIKE. I expect so. Talk about things to drink! Harvest-time, and the
women folks coming out from the house with a two-gallon jug of
ice-cold buttermilk!
[Sets down the glass and whistles softly with delight.]
[HORACE shows increasing signs of annoyance.]
VASILI. You still enjoy those delights?
PIKE. Not since I moved up to our county-seat ten years ago and began
to practice law. Things don't taste the same in the city.
VASILI. You do not like your city?
PIKE [not with braggadocio, but earnestly, almost pathetically]. Like it?
Well, sir, for public buildings and architecture, I wouldn't trade our
State insane asylum for the worst-ruined ruin in Europe--not for
hygiene and real comfort.
VASILI. And your people?
PIKE. The best on earth. Out my way folks are neighbors.
[HORACE snaps his paper sharply.]
VASILI. But you have no leisure class.

[VASILI is looking keenly at HAWCASTLE and HORACE as he
speaks.]
PIKE. Got a pretty good-sized colored population.
VASILI. I mean no aristocracy--no great old families such as we have,
that go back and back to the Middle Ages.
PIKE [genially]. Well, I expect if they go back that far they might just
as well set down and stay there. No, sir, the poor in my country don't
have to pay taxes for a lot of useless kings and earls and first grooms of
the bedchamber and second ladies in waiting, and I don't know what all.
If anybody wants our money for nothin' he has to show energy enough
to steal it. I wonder a man like you doesn't emigrate.
VASILI. Bravo!
HAWCASTLE [to HORACE]. Your countryman seems to be rather
down on us!
HORACE. This fellow is distinctly of the lower orders. We should cut
him as completely in the States as here.
VASILI. I wonder you make this long journey, my friend, instead of to
spend your holiday at home.
PIKE. Holiday! Why, I never had time even to go to Niagara Falls!
VASILI [to