The Man from Home | Page 9

his eyelids begin to flutter, he bends a look of suffering and distrust upon VASILI, slowly rises and closes his eyes, then slowly sits and opens them. Gradually a faint, distrustful smile appears on his face.]
PIKE [in the voice of a convalescent]. I never had any business to leave Indiana!
VASILI. I am sorry, my friend.
[PIKE takes another large forkful of caviar.]
VASILI [observing this]. But I thought you did not like the caviar?
PIKE. It's to take away the taste of the vodka.
VASILI [laughing]. I lift my hat to you.
PIKE. You never worked on a farm in your own country, Doc?
VASILI. That has been denied me.
PIKE. I expect so. Talk about things to drink! Harvest-time, and the women folks coming out from the house with a two-gallon jug of ice-cold buttermilk!
[Sets down the glass and whistles softly with delight.]
[HORACE shows increasing signs of annoyance.]
VASILI. You still enjoy those delights?
PIKE. Not since I moved up to our county-seat ten years ago and began to practice law. Things don't taste the same in the city.
VASILI. You do not like your city?
PIKE [not with braggadocio, but earnestly, almost pathetically]. Like it? Well, sir, for public buildings and architecture, I wouldn't trade our State insane asylum for the worst-ruined ruin in Europe--not for hygiene and real comfort.
VASILI. And your people?
PIKE. The best on earth. Out my way folks are neighbors.
[HORACE snaps his paper sharply.]
VASILI. But you have no leisure class.
[VASILI is looking keenly at HAWCASTLE and HORACE as he speaks.]
PIKE. Got a pretty good-sized colored population.
VASILI. I mean no aristocracy--no great old families such as we have, that go back and back to the Middle Ages.
PIKE [genially]. Well, I expect if they go back that far they might just as well set down and stay there. No, sir, the poor in my country don't have to pay taxes for a lot of useless kings and earls and first grooms of the bedchamber and second ladies in waiting, and I don't know what all. If anybody wants our money for nothin' he has to show energy enough to steal it. I wonder a man like you doesn't emigrate.
VASILI. Bravo!
HAWCASTLE [to HORACE]. Your countryman seems to be rather down on us!
HORACE. This fellow is distinctly of the lower orders. We should cut him as completely in the States as here.
VASILI. I wonder you make this long journey, my friend, instead of to spend your holiday at home.
PIKE. Holiday! Why, I never had time even to go to Niagara Falls!
VASILI [to MARIANO]. Finito!
[Sets his napkin carelessly on table and lights a Russian cigarette.]
MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY. What is it he does with his serviette?
PIKE [moving his chair back from the table slightly, and folding his napkin]. No, sir, you wouldn't catch me puttin' in any time in these old kingdoms unless I had to.
LADY CREECH [loudly, to HAWCASTLE]. Hawcastle, can you tell me how much longer these persons intend to remain here listening to our conversation?
[PIKE half turns to LADY CREECH, innocently puzzled.]
HAWCASTLE. Oh, it isn't that; but it's somewhat annoying not to be allowed to read one's paper in peace.
HORACE. Quite beastly annoying!
LADY CREECH. I had a distinct impression that the management had reserved this terrace for our party.
VASILI [quietly]. I fear we have disturbed these good people.
PIKE [in wonder]. Do you think they're hinting at us?
VASILI. I fear so.
PIKE [gently and with sincere amazement]. Why, we haven't done anything to 'em.
VASILI. No, my friend.
PIKE [smiling]. Well, I guess there ain't any bones broken.
HORACE [throws down paper angrily on tea-table]. I can't stand this. I shall go for a stroll.
PIKE [rising]. I expect it's about time for me to go and find the two young folks I've come to look after.
VASILI. You are here for a duty, then?
PIKE [with gravity, yet smiling faintly]. I shouldn't be surprised if that was the name for it. Yes, sir, all the way from Indiana.
[ETHEL utters a low cry of fear.]
[HORACE, having secured his hat, is just rising to go, drops back into his chair with a stifled exclamation of dismay.]
[HAWCASTLE lays his paper flat on table. All this instantaneous.]
HAWCASTLE. By Jove!
[They all stare at PIKE.]
PIKE [continuing]. I expect, prob'ly, Doc, I won't be able to eat with you this evening. You see--[he pauses, somewhat embarrassed]--you see, I've come a mighty long ways to look after her, and she, prob'ly--that is, _they'll_ prob'ly want me to have supper with them.
[The latter part of this speech is spoken rather breathlessly, though not rapidly, and almost tremulously, and with a growing smile that is like a confession.]
VASILI. Do not trouble for me. Your young people, they have a villa?
PIKE. No; they're right here in this hotel.
HORACE. I must get away!
[He says this huskily, almost in a whisper, as if to himself. His face is tense with anxiety.]
VASILI [with a gesture of dismissal, though graciously]. Seek