The Man Who Was Afraid | Page 8

beside her and embrace her. She was cold, returning his caresses but sparingly. Looking straight into her eyes, he used to say:
"Natalya! Tell me--why are you so sad? Do you feel lonesome here with me?"
"No," she replied shortly.
"What then is it? Are you longing for your people?"
No, it's nothing."
"What are you thinking about?"
"I am not thinking."
"What then?"
"Oh, nothing!"
Once he managed to get from her a more complete answer:
"There is something confused in my heart. And also in my eyes. And it always seems to me that all this is not real."
She waved her hand around her, pointing at the walls, the furniture and everything. Ignat did not reflect on her words, and, laughing, said to her:
"That's to no purpose! Everything here is genuine. All these are costly, solid things. If you don't want these, I'll burn them, I'll sell them, I'll give them away--and I'll get new ones! Do you want me to?"
"What for?" said she calmly.
He wondered, at last, how one so young and healthy could live as though she were sleeping all the time, caring for nothing, going nowhere, except to the church, and shunning everybody. And he used to console her:
"Just wait. You'll bear a son, and then an altogether different life will commence. You are so sad because you have so little anxiety, and he will give you trouble. You'll bear me a son, will you not?
"If it pleases God," she answered, lowering her head.
Then her mood began to irritate him.
"Well, why do you wear such a long face? You walk as though on glass. You look as if you had ruined somebody's soul! Eh! You are such a succulent woman, and yet you have no taste for anything. Fool!"
Coming home intoxicated one day, he began to ply her with caresses, while she turned away from him. Then he grew angry, and exclaimed:
"Natalya! Don't play the fool, look out!"
She turned her face to him and asked calmly:
"What then?"
Ignat became enraged at these words and at her fearless look.
"What?" he roared, coming up close to her.
"Do you wish to kill me?" asked she, not moving from her place, nor winking an eye.
Ignat was accustomed to seeing people tremble before his wrath, and it was strange and offensive to him to see her calm.
"There," he cried, lifting his hand to strike her. Slowly, but in time, she eluded the blow; then she seized his hand, pushed it away from her, and said in the same tone:
"Don't you dare to touch me. I will not allow you to come near me!"
Her eyes became smaller and their sharp, metallic glitter sobered Ignat. He understood by her face that she, too, was a strong beast, and if she chose to she wouldn't admit him to her, even though she were to lose her life.
"Oh," he growled, and went away.
But having retreated once, he would not do it again: he could not bear that a woman, and his wife at that, should not bow before him-- this would have degraded him. He then began to realise that henceforth his wife would never yield to him in any matter, and that an obstinate strife for predominance must start between them.
"Very well! We'll see who will conquer," he thought the next day, watching his wife with stern curiosity; and in his soul a strong desire was already raging to start the strife, that he might enjoy his victory the sooner.
But about four days later, Natalya Fominichna announced to her husband that she was pregnant.
Ignat trembled for joy, embraced her firmly, and said in a dull voice:
"You're a fine fellow, Natalya! Natasha, if it should be a son! If you bear me a son I'll enrich you! I tell you plainly, I'll be your slave! By God! I'll lie down at your feet, and you may trample upon me, if you like!"
"This is not within our power; it's the will of the Lord," said she in a low voice.
"Yes, the Lord's!" exclaimed Ignat with bitterness and drooped his head sadly.
From that moment he began to look after his wife as though she were a little child.
"Why do you sit near the window? Look out. You'll catch cold in your side; you may take sick," he used to say to her, both sternly and mildly. "Why do you skip on the staircase? You may hurt yourself. And you had better eat more, eat for two, that he may have enough."
And the pregnancy made Natalya more morose and silent, as though she were looking still deeper into herself, absorbed in the throbbing of new life within her. But the smile on her lips became clearer, and in her eyes flashed at times something new, weak and timid, like the first ray of the dawn.
When, at last, the time of confinement came, it was early on an autumn