The Man Who Laughs | Page 4

in the bud, in the sepal, in the stamen, in the carpel, in the
ovule, in the spore, in the theca, and in the apothecium. I have
thoroughly sifted chromatics, osmosy, and chymosy--that is to say, the
formation of colours, of smell, and of taste." There was something
fatuous, doubtless, in this certificate which Ursus gave to Ursus; but let
those who have not thoroughly sifted chromatics, osmosy, and
chymosy cast the first stone at him.
Fortunately Ursus had never gone into the Low Countries; there they
would certainly have weighed him, to ascertain whether he was of the
normal weight, above or below which a man is a sorcerer. In Holland
this weight was sagely fixed by law. Nothing was simpler or more
ingenious. It was a clear test. They put you in a scale, and the evidence
was conclusive if you broke the equilibrium. Too heavy, you were
hanged; too light, you were burned. To this day the scales in which
sorcerers were weighed may be seen at Oudewater, but they are now
used for weighing cheeses; how religion has degenerated! Ursus would
certainly have had a crow to pluck with those scales. In his travels he
kept away from Holland, and he did well. Indeed, we believe that he
used never to leave the United Kingdom.
However this may have been, he was very poor and morose, and having
made the acquaintance of Homo in a wood, a taste for a wandering life
had come over him. He had taken the wolf into partnership, and with
him had gone forth on the highways, living in the open air the great life
of chance. He had a great deal of industry and of reserve, and great skill
in everything connected with healing operations, restoring the sick to
health, and in working wonders peculiar to himself. He was considered
a clever mountebank and a good doctor. As may be imagined, he
passed for a wizard as well--not much indeed; only a little, for it was
unwholesome in those days to be considered a friend of the devil. To
tell the truth, Ursus, by his passion for pharmacy and his love of plants,
laid himself open to suspicion, seeing that he often went to gather herbs
in rough thickets where grew Lucifer's salads, and where, as has been

proved by the Counsellor De l'Ancre, there is a risk of meeting in the
evening mist a man who comes out of the earth, "blind of the right eye,
barefooted, without a cloak, and a sword by his side." But for the
matter of that, Ursus, although eccentric in manner and disposition, was
too good a fellow to invoke or disperse hail, to make faces appear, to
kill a man with the torment of excessive dancing, to suggest dreams fair
or foul and full of terror, and to cause the birth of cocks with four
wings. He had no such mischievous tricks. He was incapable of certain
abominations, such as, for instance, speaking German, Hebrew, or
Greek, without having learned them, which is a sign of unpardonable
wickedness, or of a natural infirmity proceeding from a morbid humour.
If Ursus spoke Latin, it was because he knew it. He would never have
allowed himself to speak Syriac, which he did not know. Besides, it is
asserted that Syriac is the language spoken in the midnight meetings at
which uncanny people worship the devil. In medicine he justly
preferred Galen to Cardan; Cardan, although a learned man, being but
an earthworm to Galen.
To sum up, Ursus was not one of those persons who live in fear of the
police. His van was long enough and wide enough to allow of his lying
down in it on a box containing his not very sumptuous apparel. He
owned a lantern, several wigs, and some utensils suspended from nails,
among which were musical instruments. He possessed, besides, a
bearskin with which he covered himself on his days of grand
performance. He called this putting on full dress. He used to say, "I
have two skins; this is the real one," pointing to the bearskin.
The little house on wheels belonged to himself and to the wolf. Besides
his house, his retort, and his wolf, he had a flute and a violoncello on
which he played prettily. He concocted his own elixirs. His wits
yielded him enough to sup on sometimes. In the top of his van was a
hole, through which passed the pipe of a cast-iron stove; so close to his
box as to scorch the wood of it. The stove had two compartments; in
one of them Ursus cooked his chemicals, and in the other his potatoes.
At night the wolf slept under the van, amicably secured by a chain.
Homo's hair was black,