The Magic Pudding | Page 6

seals, While he never fails,
where'er he goes, To turn back-flaps on a walrus nose."
"It's all very fine," said the Puddin' gloomily, "singing about the joys of
being penguins and pirates, but how'd you like to be a Puddin' and be
eaten all day long?"
And in a very gruff voice he sang as follows:--
"O, who would be a puddin', A puddin' in a pot, A puddin' which is
stood on A fire which is hot ? O sad indeed the lot Of puddin's in a pot.
"I wouldn't be a puddin' If I could be a bird, If I could be a wooden
Doll, I wouldn't say a word. Yes, I have often heard It's grand to be a
bird.
"But as I am a puddin', A puddin' in a pot, I hope you get the
stomachache For eatin' me a lot. I hope you get it hot, You
puddin'-eatin' lot!"
"Very well sung, Albert," said Bill encouragingly, "though you're a
trifle husky in your undertones, which is no doubt due to the gravy in
your innards. However, as a reward for bein' a bright little feller we
shall have a slice of you all round before turnin' in for the night."
So they whistled up the plum-duff side of the Puddin', and had supper.
When that was done, Bill stood up and made a speech to Bunyip
Bluegum.

"I am now about to put before you an important proposal," said Bill.
"Here you are, a young intelligent feller, goin' about seein' the world by
yourself. Here is Sam an' me, two as fine fellers as ever walked, goin'
about the world with a Puddin'. My proposal to you is--Join us, and
become a member of the Noble Society of Puddin'-Owners. The duties
of the Society," went on Bill, "are light. The members are required to
wander along the roads, indulgin' in conversation, song and story, eatin'
at regular intervals at the Puddin'. And now, what's your answer?"
"My answer," said Bunyip Bluegum, "is, Done with you." And, shaking
hands warmly all round, they loudly sang.
THE PUDDIN'-OWNERS' ANTHEM.
"The solemn word is plighted, The solemn tale is told, We swear to
stand united, Three puddin'-owners bold.
"Hurrah for puddin'-owning, Hurrah for Friendship's hand, The
puddin'-thieves are groaning To see our noble band.
"When we with rage assemble, Let puddin'-snatchers groan; Let
puddin'-burglars tremble, They'll ne'er our puddin' own.
"Hurrah, we'll stick together, And always bear in mind To eat our
puddin' gallantly, Whenever we're inclined.
"Having given three rousing cheers, they shook hands once more and
turned in for the night. After such a busy day, walking, talking, fighting,
singing, and eating puddin', they were all asleep in a pig's whisper.

SECOND SLICE
The Society of Puddin'-Owners were up bright and early next morning,
and had the billy on and tea made before six o'clock, which is the best
part of the day, because the world has just had his face washed, and the
air smells like Pears' soap.

"Aha," said Bill Barnacle, cutting up slices of the Puddin', "this is what
I call grand. Here we are, after a splendid night's sleep on dry leaves,
havin' a smokin' hot slice of steak-and-kidney for breakfast round the
camp fire. What could be more delightful?"
"What indeed?" said Bunyip Bluegum, sipping his tea.
"Why, as I always say," said Bill, "if there's one thing more entrancin'
than sittin' round a camp fire in the evenin' it's sittin' round a camp fire
in the mornin'. No beds and blankets and breakfast tables for Bill
Barnacle. For as I says in my `Breakfast Ballad'--
"If there's anythin' better than lyin' on leaves, It's risin' from leaves at
dawnin', If there's anythin' better than sleepin' at eve, It's wakin' up in
the mawnin'.
"If there's anythin' better than camp firelight, It's bright sunshine on
wakin'. If there's anythin' better than puddin' at night, It's puddin' when
day is breakin'.
"If there's anythin' better than singin' away While the stars are gaily
shinin', Why, it's singin' a song at dawn of day, On puddin' for
breakfast dinin'."
There was a hearty round of applause at this song, for, as Bunyip
Bluegum remarked, "singing at breakfast should certainly be more
commonly indulged in, as it greatly tends to enliven what is on most
occasions a somewhat dull proceeding."
"One of the great advantages of being a professional puddin'-owner,"
said Sam Sawnoff, "is that songs at breakfast are always encouraged.
None of the ordinary breakfast rules, such as scowling while eating,
and saying the porridge is as stiff as glue and the eggs are as tough as
leather, are observed. Instead, songs, roars of laughter, and boisterous
jests are the order of the day. For example, this sort of thing," added
Sam, doing a