The Love Affairs of Pixie | Page 4

will I do instead! If I feel like
that to another girl's lover, what will I do to my own?"
Bridgie stared aghast. Her brain was still reeling from the shock of
hearing Pixie refer to the subject of lovers at all, and here was yet
another problem looming ahead. With a loving grasp of her sister's
character, she realised that the protestations to which she had just
listened embodied a real danger. Pixie had always been "the
soft-heartedest creature," who had never from her earliest years been
known to refuse a plea for help. It would only be in keeping with her
character if she accepted a suitor out of pure politeness and
unwillingness to hurt his feelings. Bridgie was a happy wife, and for
that very reason was determined that if care and guidance, if authority,
and persuasion, and precept, and a judicious amount of influence could
do it, Pixie should never be married, unless it were to the right man.
She therefore adopted her elderly attitude once more, and said firmly--
"It's very wicked and misguided even to talk in such a way. When the
time comes that a man asks you to marry him--if it ever comes--it will
be your first and foremost duty to examine your own heart and see if
you love him enough to live with him all his life, whether he is ill or

well, or rich or poor, or happy or sad. You will have to decide whether
you would be happier with him in trouble or free by yourself, and you'd
have to remember that it's not always too easy managing a house, and--
and walking about half the night with a teething baby, and darning
socks, when you want to go out, and wearing the same dress three years
running, even if you love the man you've married. Of course, some
girls marry rich husbands--like Esmeralda; but that's rare. Far more
young couples begin as we did, with having to be careful about every
shilling; and that, my dear, is not agreeable! You need to be very fond
of a man to make it worth while to go on short commons all your life.
You need to think things over very carefully, before you accept an offer
of marriage."
Pixie sat listening, her head cocked to one side, with the air of a bright,
intelligent bird. When Bridgie had finished speaking she sighed and
knitted her brows, and stared thoughtfully into the fire. It was obvious
that she was pondering over what had been said, and did not find
herself altogether in agreement with the rules laid down.
"You mean," she said slowly, "that I should have to think altogether of
myself and what would suit Me and make me happy? That's strange,
now; that's very strange! To bring a girl up all her life to believe it's her
duty in every small thing that comes along to put herself last and her
family in front, and then when she's a grown-up woman, and a man
comes along who believes, poor thing! that she could help him and
make him happy, then just at that moment you tell her to be selfish and
think only of herself. ... 'Tis not that way I'll conduct my love affairs!"
cried Pixie O'Shaughnessy. Her eyes met Bridgie's, and flashed
defiance. "When I meet a man who needs me I'll find my own
happiness in helping him!"
"Bless you, darling!" said Bridgie softly. "I am quite sure you will. ...
It's a very, very serious time for a woman when the question of
marriage comes into her life. You can't treat it too seriously. I have not
thought of it so far in connection with you, but now that I do I'll pray
about it, Pixie! I'll pray for you, that you may be guided to a right
choice. You'll pray that for yourself, won't you, dear?"

"I will," said Pixie quietly. "I do. And for him--the man I may marry.
I've prayed for him quite a long time."
"The ... the man!" Bridgie was so surprised as to appear almost shocked.
"My dear, you don't know him!"
"But he is alive, isn't he? He must be, if I'm going to marry him. Alive,
and grown-up, and living, perhaps, not so far away. Perhaps he's an
orphan, Bridgie; or if he has a home, perhaps he's had to leave it and
live in a strange town. ... Perhaps he's in lodgings, going home every
night to sit alone in a room. Perhaps he's trying to be good, and finding
it very hard. Perhaps there's no one in all the world to pray for him but
just me. Bridgie! If I'm going to love him how can I not pray?"
Mrs Victor rose hurriedly from her