The Log of the Jolly Polly | Page 6

and that if I were in the market, they were not the parents I would choose. I had a picture of life at Harbor Castle, dependent upon the charity of the Farrells. I imagined what my friends would say to me, and worse, what they would say behind my back. But I was not forced to a refusal.
Mr. Farrell rose.
"We don't want to hurry you," he said. "We want you to think it over. Maybe if we get acquainted----"
Mrs. Farrell smiled upon me ingratiatingly.
"Why don't we get acquainted now?" she demanded. "We're motoring down to Cape May to stay three weeks. Why don't you come along--as our guest--and see how you like us?"
I assured them, almost too hastily, that already was deeply engaged.
As they departed, Farrell again admonished me to think it over.
"And look me up at Dun's and Bradstreet's," he advised. "Ask 'em about me at the Waldorf. Ask the head waiters and bellhops if I look twice at a five spot!"
It seemed an odd way to select a father, but I promised.
I escorted them even to the sidewalk, and not without envy watched them sweep toward the Waldorf in the High Flyer, 1915 model. I caught myself deciding, were it mine, I would paint it gray.
I was lunching at the Ritz with Curtis Spencer, and I looked forward to the delight he would take in my story of the Farrells. He would probably want to write it. He was my junior, but my great friend; and as a novelist his popularity was where five years earlier mine had been. But he belonged to the new school. His novels smelled like a beauty parlor; and his heroines, while always beautiful, were, on occasions, virtuous, but only when they thought it would pay.
Spencer himself was as modern as his novels, and I was confident his view of my adventure would be that of the great world which he described so accurately.
But to my amazement when I had finished he savagely attacked me.
"You idiot!" he roared. "Are you trying to tell me you refused five million dollars-- just because you didn't like the people who wanted to force it on you? Where," he demanded, "is Cape May? We'll follow them now! We'll close this deal before they can change their minds. I'll make you sign to-night. And, then," he continued eagerly, "we'll take their yacht and escape to Newport, and you'll lend me five thousand dollars, and pay my debts, and give me back the ten you borrowed. And you might buy me a touring-car and some polo ponies and--and--oh, lots of things. I'll think of them as we go along. Meanwhile, I can't afford to give luncheons to millionaires, so you sign for this one; and then we'll start for Cape May."
"Are you mad?" I demanded; "do you think I'd sell my honor!"
"For five million dollars?" cried Spencer. "Don't make me laugh! If they want a REAL novelist for a son they can adopt me!"
I replied with dignity that I would not disgrace the memory of my parents.
"You have disgraced them!" retorted Spencer, "with your Musketeer novels for infants. You need money. To get it you may be tempted to write more novels. Here's your chance! Stop robbing the public, and lead an honest life. Think of all the money you could give to the poor, think of all the money you and I could lose at Monte Carlo!"
When he found I would not charter an auto-mobile and at once pursue the Farrells he changed his tactics. If I would not go to Cape May, then, he begged, I would go to Fairharbor. He asked that I would, at least, find out what I was refusing. Before making their offer, for six months, the Farrells had had me "looked up, " but, without knowing anything of them, after a talk of ten minutes I had turned them down. "Was that," he asked, "intelligent? Was it fair to the Farrells?" He continued to tempt me.
"They told you to think it over," he persisted. "Very well, then, think it over at Fairharbor! For the next three weeks the Farrells will be at Cape May. The coast is clear. Go to Fairharbor as somebody else and be your own detective. Find out if what they tell you is true. Get inside information. Get inside Harbor Castle. Count the eighteen bedrooms and try the beds. Never mind the art gallery, but make sure there is a wine cellar.
You can't start too soon, and I WILL GO WITH YOU!"
I told him where he could go.
We then tossed to see who should pay for the lunch and who should tip the head waiter. I lost and had to tip the head waiter. We separated, and as I walked down the Avenue, it seemed as though to