The Little White Bird | Page 7

waiting for her outside the
post-office, where they meet every Thursday, a fellow who always
wears the same suit of clothes, but has a face that must ever make him

free of the company of gentlemen. He is one of your lean, clean
Englishmen, who strip so well, and I fear me he is handsome; I say fear,
for your handsome men have always annoyed me, and had I lived in the
duelling days I swear I would have called every one of them out. He
seems to be quite unaware that he is a pretty fellow, but Lord, how
obviously Mary knows it. I conclude that he belongs to the artistic
classes, he is so easily elated and depressed; and because he carries his
left thumb curiously, as if it were feeling for the hole of a palette, I
have entered his name among the painters. I find pleasure in deciding
that they are shocking bad pictures, for obviously no one buys them. I
feel sure Mary says they are splendid, she is that sort of woman. Hence
the rapture with which he greets her. Her first effect upon him is to
make him shout with laughter. He laughs suddenly haw from an eager
exulting face, then haw again, and then, when you are thanking heaven
that it is at last over, comes a final haw, louder than the others. I take
them to be roars of joy because Mary is his, and they have a ring of
youth about them that is hard to bear. I could forgive him everything
save his youth, but it is so aggressive that I have sometimes to order
William testily to close the window.
How much more deceitful than her lover is the little nursery governess.
The moment she comes into sight she looks at the post-office and sees
him. Then she looks straight before her, and now she is observed, and
he rushes across to her in a glory, and she starts--positively starts--as if
he had taken her by surprise. Observe her hand rising suddenly to her
wicked little heart. This is the moment when I stir my coffee violently.
He gazes down at her in such rapture that he is in everybody's way, and
as she takes his arm she gives it a little squeeze, and then away they
strut, Mary doing nine-tenths of the talking. I fall to wondering what
they will look like when they grow up.
What a ludicrous difference do these two nobodies make to each other.
You can see that they are to be married when he has twopence.
Thus I have not an atom of sympathy with this girl, to whom London is
famous only as the residence of a young man who mistakes her for
someone else, but her happiness had become part of my repast at two

P.M., and when one day she walked down Pall Mall without gradually
posting a letter I was most indignant. It was as if William had
disobeyed orders. Her two charges were as surprised as I, and pointed
questioningly to the slit, at which she shook her head. She put her
finger to her eyes, exactly like a sad baby, and so passed from the
street.
Next day the same thing happened, and I was so furious that I bit
through my cigarette. Thursday came, when I prayed that there might
be an end of this annoyance, but no, neither of them appeared on that
acquainted ground. Had they changed their post- office? No, for her
eyes were red every day, and heavy was her foolish little heart. Love
had put out his lights, and the little nursery governess walked in
darkness.
I felt I could complain to the committee.
Oh, you selfish young zany of a man, after all you have said to her,
won't you make it up and let me return to my coffee? Not he.
Little nursery governess, I appeal to you. Annoying girl, be joyous as
of old during the five minutes of the day when you are anything to me,
and for the rest of the time, so far as I am concerned, you may be as
wretched as you list. Show some courage. I assure you he must be a
very bad painter; only the other day I saw him looking longingly into
the window of a cheap Italian restaurant, and in the end he had to crush
down his aspirations with two penny scones.
You can do better than that. Come, Mary.
All in vain. She wants to be loved; can't do without love from morning
till night; never knew how little a woman needs till she lost that little.
They are all like this.
Zounds, madam, if you are resolved to be a drooping little figure till
you die,