The Lightning Conductor | Page 3

see
your daughter's new gee-gee. Here comes the cab, so good-bye, you old
saint. From
Your sinner,
MOLLY.

CARLTON HOTEL, LONDON,
November 14.
Dearest,
I've got it; it's mine; bought and paid for. It's so handsome that even
Aunt Mary is mollified. (I didn't mean that for a pun, but let it pass.) Mr.
Cecil-Lanstown has told me everything I ought to know (about
motor-cars, I mean), and now, after having tea with us, looking dukier
than ever, he has departed with a roll of your hard-earned money in his
pocket. It's lucky I met him when I did, and secured the car, for he has
been called out of England on business, is going to-morrow, and seems
not to know when he'll be able to get back. But he says we may meet in
France when he has his big racing automobile.
The only drawback to my new toy is the chauffeur. Why "chauffeur,"

by the way, I wonder? He doesn't heat anything. On the contrary, if I
understand the matter, it's apparently his duty to keep things cool,
including his own head. This one looks as if he had had his head on ice
for years. He is the gloomiest man I ever saw, gives you the feeling that
he may burst into tears any minute; but Mr. Cecil-Lanstown says he is
one of the best chauffeurs in England, and thoroughly understands this
particular make of car, which is German.
The man's name is Rattray. It suits him somehow. If I were the heroine
of a melodrama, I should feel the minute I set eyes on Rattray that he
was the villain of the piece, and I should hang on like grim death to any
marriage certificates or wills that might concern me, for I should know
it would be his aim during at least four acts to get possession of them.
He has enormous blue eyes like Easter eggs, and his ears look
something like cactuses, only, thank goodness, I'm spared their being
green; they wouldn't go with his complexion. I talked to him and put on
scientific airs, but I'm afraid they weren't effective for he hardly said
anything, only looked gloomy, and as if he read "amateur" written on
my soul or somewhere where it wasn't supposed to show. He's gone
now to make arrangements for keeping my car in a garage. He's to
bring it round every morning at ten o'clock, and is to teach me to drive.
I won't seal this letter up till to-morrow then I can tell you how I like
my first lesson.
November 15.
I was proud of the car when I went out on it yesterday. Aunt Mary
wouldn't go, because she doesn't wish to be the "victim of an
experiment." Rattray drove for a long way, but when we got beyond the
traffic, towards Richmond, I took his place, and my lesson began. It's
harder than I thought it would be, because you have to do so many
things at once. You really ought to have three or four hands with this
car, Rattray says. When I asked him if it was different with other cars,
he didn't seem to bear. Already I've noticed that he's subject to a sort of
spasmodic deafness, but I suppose I must put up with that, as he is such
a fine mechanic. One can't have everything.
With your left hand you have to steer the car by means of a kind of

tiller, and to this is attached the horn to warn creatures of all sorts that
you're coming. I blow this with my right hand, but Rattray says I ought
to learn to do it while steering with the left, as there are quantities of
other things to be done with the right hand. First there is a funny little
handle with which you change speeds whenever you come to a hill;
then there is the "jockey-pulley-lever," which gives the right tension to
the belts (this is very important); the "throttle-valve-lever," on which
you must always keep your hand to control the speed of the car; and the
brake which you jam on when you want to stop. So there are two things
to do with the left hand, and four things with the right, and often most
of these things must be done at the same time. No wonder I was
confused and got my hands a little mixed, so that I forgot which was
which, and things went wrong for a second! just then a cart was rude
enough to come round a corner. I tried to steer to the right, but went to
the left and you can't think how many things can happen with a
motor-car in one second.
Now, don't be worried! I wasn't hurt