The Life of Horatio Lord Nelson | Page 6

shores. He had formed an
acquaintance with Sir Charles Pole, Sir Thomas Troubridge, and other
distinguished officers, then, like himself, beginning their career: he had
left them pursuing that career in full enjoyment of health and hope, and
was returning, from a country in which all things were to him new and
interesting, with a body broken down by sickness, and spirits which
had sunk with his strength. Long afterwards, when the name of Nelson
was known as widely as that of England itself, he spoke of the feelings
which he at this time endured. "I felt impressed," said he, "with a
feeling that I should never rise in my profession. My mind was
staggered with a view of the difficulties I had to surmount and the little
interest I possessed. I could discover no means of reaching the object of
my ambition. After a long and gloomy reverie, in which I almost
wished myself overboard, a sudden glow of patriotism was kindled
within me, and presented my king and country as my patron. 'Well
then,' I exclaimed, 'I will be a hero! and, confiding in Providence, I will
brave every danger!'"
Long afterwards Nelson loved to speak of the feelings of that moment;
and from that time, he often said, a radiant orb was suspended in his
mind's eye, which urged him onward to renown. The state of mind in
which these feelings began, is what the mystics mean by their season of
darkness and desertion. If the animal spirits fail, they represent it as an

actual temptation. The enthusiasm of Nelson's nature had taken a
different direction, but its essence was the same. He knew to what the
previous state of dejection was to be attributed; that an enfeebled body,
and a mind depressed, had cast this shade over his soul; but he always
seemed willing to believe that the sunshine which succeeded bore with
it a prophetic glory, and that the light which led him on was "light from
heaven."
His interest, however, was far better than he imagined, During his
absence, Captain Suckling had been made Comptroller of the Navy; his
health had materially improved upon the voyage; and as soon as the
DOLPHIN was paid off, he was appointed acting lieutenant in the
WORCESTER, sixty-four, Captain Mark Robinson, then going out
with convoy to Gibraltar. Soon after his return, on the 8th of April 1777,
he passed his examination for a lieutenancy. Captain Suckling sat at the
head of the board; and when the examination had ended, in a manner
highly honourable to Nelson, rose from his seat, and introduced him to
the examining captains as his nephew. They expressed their wonder
that he had not informed them of this relationship before; he replied
that he did not wish the younker to be favoured; he knew his nephew
would pass a good examination, and he had not been deceived. The
next day Nelson received his commission as second lieutenant of the
LOWESTOFFE frigate, Captain William Locker, then fitting out for
Jamaica.
American and French privateers, under American colours, were at that
time harassing our trade in the West Indies: even a frigate was not
sufficiently active for Nelson, and he repeatedly got appointed to the
command of one of the LOWESTOFFE's tenders. During one of their
cruises the LOWESTOFFE captured an American letter-of-marque: it
was blowing a gale, and a heavy sea running. The first lieutenant being
ordered to board the prize, went below to put on his hanger. It
happened to be mislaid; and while he was seeking it, Captain Locker
came on deck. Perceiving the boat still alongside, and in danger every
moment of being swamped, and being extremely anxious that the
privateer should be instantly taken in charge, because he feared that It
would otherwise founder, he exclaimed, "Have I no officer in the ship

who can board the prize?" Nelson did not offer himself immediately,
waiting, with his usual sense of propriety, for the first lieutenant's
return; but hearing the master volunteer, he jumped into the boat,
saying, "It is my turn now; and if I come back, it is yours." The
American, who had carried a heavy press of sail in hope of escaping,
was so completely water-logged that the LOWESTOFFE's boat went in
on deck and out again with the sea.
About this time he lost his uncle. Captain Locker, however, who had
perceived the excellent qualities of Nelson, and formed a friendship for
him which continued during his life, recommended him warmly to Sir
Peter Parker, then commander-in-chief upon that station. In
consequence of this recommendation he was removed into the
BRISTOL flag-ship, and Lieutenant Cuthbert Collingwood succeeded
him in the LOWESTOFFE. Sir Peter Parker was the friend of both, and
thus it happened that whenever Nelson got a step