The Life and Adventures of Major Roger Sherman Potter | Page 7

better of
him in a bargain. Indeed it was said of him that though he had not been
to sea for many a day he so linked himself to the fortunes of his
neighbors as to secure a large share of the bounty so generously paid by
our government. That there was nothing in this inconsistent with his
love of true religion my father was assured by the parson, who held that
worldly possessions in no wise blunted the appetite for redemption; and
that even bill-discounting quakers, with their bags of gold on their
backs, would not find the gates of heaven shut to them. And as the
parson was a man of great learning, though small of figure, and very
curatical in his features and dress, his opinions were in high favor with
the villagers, among whom he had given it out that he was a graduate
of Yale and Harvard, both of which celebrated institutions had
conferred high honors upon him. This high throwing of the parson's
lasso getting abroad atoned for innumerable antiquated and very dull
sermons, for the delivery of which he would excuse himself to his
private friends by saying that his salary was but four hundred dollars a
year, one third of which he took in No. 2 mackerel no one would buy of
him. He was excessively fussy; and if he advocated temperance to-day,
he would to-morrow take a sly smash, never forgetting to add that it
was recommended by his physician, who was likewise a man of great

learning. Under the influence of this medicine, it was said, by malicious
people, which no parish is with--out, that if the occasion demanded a
serious sermon he was sure to preach one that would send all the young
folks of his congregation into a titter. If the occasion was such as to
tolerate a little humor, he was sure to send them all into a melancholy
mood with the gravity of his remarks. In fine, he was sure to be on the
opposite side of everything natural. The only question he was not quite
sure it would do to get upon, was the slavery question. And for this he
always excused himself by saying that there were many others in the
same condition. It would not do to be in the desert, hence he inclined to
the policy of our fashionable clergy, who are extremely cautious not to
steer too close to questions not popular enough to be profitably
espoused. If Parson Stebbins (for such was his name) let drop a few
words in favor of freedom to-day, Obadiah Morgan, the most
influential member of his church, would to-morrow politely withdraw.
A word or two complimentary of the South and her peculiar institutions
was equally sure to find him taken to task by the philanthropic females
of his parish. In truth, he could approach neither side of the question
without finding a fire in his rear. And as his empty pocket would not
allow him to rise to independence, he resolved to preach to that portion
of his church which was content to let the slavery question take care of
itself.
The parson joined my father in his endeavors to shake the resolution I
had taken, and said many things concerning the snares set by the
wicked world, and how easy it was for an ardent youth like myself to
fall into them, that grievously annoyed my mother; for, as I have said
before, she had great faith in my virtue, and so doted on me that she
had a ready excuse for all my follies. Indeed, she would often smile at
the combined alarm of my father and the parson, saying she held it
infinitely better that a youth like myself go out upon the world in
search of distinction, for therein lay the virtue of his example. Children
were born to the world; if they had daring enough to go out upon it and
battle with it, the parson's advice to stay at home was unnecessary. You
could not make human things divine; and, to expect miracles from
saints now-a-days, or truth from critics, or liberality from parsons, was
like looking for reason in our "current literature."
When my father found that I was, in spite of the admonitions of the

parson, resolved on setting out, and that he was confronted by the
strong opposition of my mother, he gave up in despair, telling me
whatever befell me, not to look to him for succor. My mother, on the
other hand, gave herself up to my preparation for the journey with so
much ardor, that she for several days almost wholly neglected the
regulation of her domestic affairs. My precious new suit of black, in
which I had adorned myself on Sundays, and, not