hard training of life to be able to govern himself.
And that is more difficult to a man than to a woman.
"all thy passions, matched with mine, Are as moonlight unto sunlight,
and as water unto wine."
A truth which even Fortune's tender heart did not fully take in, deep as
was her sympathy for him; for his toilsome, lonely life, lived more in
shadow than in sunshine, and with every temptation to the selfishness
which is so apt to follow self-dependence, and the bitterness that to a
proud spirit so often makes the sting of poverty. Yet he was neither
selfish nor bitter; only a little reserved, silent, and--except with
children--rather grave.
She stood watching him now, for she could see him a long way off
across the level Links, and noticed that he stopped more than once to
look at the golf-players. He was a capital golfer himself, but had never
any time to play. Between his own studies and the teaching by which
he earned the money to prosecute them, every hour was filled up. So he
turned his back on the pleasant pastime, which seems to have such an
extraordinary fascination for those who pursue it, and came on to his
daily work, with that resolute deliberate step, bent on going direct to his
point and turning aside for nothing.
Fortune knew it well by this time; had learned to distinguish it from all
others in the world. There are some footsteps which, by a pardonable
poetical license, we say "we should hear in our graves," and though this
girl did not think of that, for death looked far off, and she was scarcely
a poetical person, still, many a morning, when, sitting at her
school-room window, she heard Mr. Roy coming steadily down the
gravel-walk, she was conscious of--something that people can not feel
twice in a life-time.
And now, when he approached with that kind smile of his, which
brightened into double pleasure when he saw who was waiting for him,
she was aware of a wild heartbeat, a sense of exceeding joy, and then of
relief and rest. He was "comfortable" to her. She could express it in no
other way. At sight of his face and at sound of his voice all worldly
cares and troubles, of which she had a good many, seemed to fall off.
To be with him was like having an arm to lean on, a light to walk by;
and she had walked alone so long.
"Good-afternoon, Miss Williams."
"Good-afternoon, Mr. Roy."
They said no more than that, but the stupidest person in the world
might have seen that they were glad to meet, glad to be together.
Though neither they nor any one else could have explained the
mysterious fact, the foundation of all love stories in books or in
life--and which the present author owns, after having written many
books and seen a great deal of life, is to her also as great a mystery as
ever--Why do certain people like to be together? What is the
inexplicable attraction which makes them seek one another, suit one
another, put up with one another's weaknesses, condone one another's
faults (when neither are too great to lessen love), and to the last day of
life find a charm in one another's society which extends to no other
human being. Happy love or lost love, a full world or an empty world,
life with joy or life without it--that is all the difference. Which some
people think very small, and that does not matter; and perhaps it does
not--to many people. But it does to some, and I incline to put in that
category Miss Williams and Mr. Roy.
They stood by the laurel bush, having just shaken hands more hastily
than they usually did; but the absence of the children, and the very
unusual fact of their being quite alone, gave to both a certain shyness,
and she had drawn her hand away, saying, with a slight blush:
"Mrs. Dalziel desired me to meet you and tell you that you might have
a holiday today. She has taken her boys with her to Elie. I dare say you
will not be sorry to gain an hour or two for yourself; though I am sorry
you should have the trouble of the walk for nothing."
"For nothing?"--with the least shadow of a smile, not of annoyance,
certainly.
"Indeed, I would have let you know if I could, but she decided at the
very last minute; and if I had proposed that a messenger should have
been sent to stop you, I am afraid--it would not have been answered."
"Of course not;" and they interchanged an amused look--these
fellow-victims to the well-known ways of the household--which,
however, neither grumbled at;
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