The Last Dancer | Page 5

with violence and insufficient
time for training. If I were to teach the women here to defend
themselves, they would still, most likely, be hurt in any encounter
where they were required to defend themselves. The willingness to hurt
an opponent, to damage him, is more important than simply knowing

how; and that willingness is something I can't teach. And I'm not sure I
wish to. Personal Protection Systems, expensive though they are, are a
better investment of Goddess Home's time and Credit. You just don't
go outside that often." Jasmine shrugged. "You've heard this before.
The fact is that in Los Angeles, in any major city, I can make a living at
both of my trades. In Goddess Home I cannot make a living at either.
"The second reason I'm willing to share with you is simple. When I
joined Goddess Home, Marta Tracing held your job. She was a quiet
person, and I found her easy to get along with. Since Marta passed
away, intolerance over ideological purity has grown to the point where
I am no longer comfortable here. I don't think I need to be more
explicit."
Alaya nodded slowly. "You've evaded this question before, but we are
alone, and you are leaving--what do you truly think of Wicca?"
Jasmine sighed. "Why does it matter?"
"Wicca is--" Alaya's frustration was apparent. "It's the entire point of
Goddess Home. It's the reason this town exists. If you're not here
because of Wicca, why are you here?" She paused. "Or, if you like,
why were you here?"
"I didn't say that I did not find Wicca attractive. It is--a life-affirming
system of beliefs. Theologically it's no sillier than Christianity; it seems
so at times only because it doesn't have two thousand years of ornate
rationalization to fall back upon. Emotionally it's at least as healthy as
any other religion I'm familiar with. The rituals are less elaborate than
those of the older religions, but that, too, is part of the charm.
But--Alaya, when you make the doctrine, the detail of ritual, more
important than the connection to Deity that it is supposed to serve, you
are in the process of turning Wicca into something very much like the
patriarchal, authoritarian religions you detest. I don't believe in your
Goddess, Alaya. I also don't believe in the Christian God. I believe in
something, because I've felt it in my own life. When I was younger I
used to think it was what everybody else called God, and for a little
while I did think it might be what Wicca calls the Goddess. But today I

admit I don't know what it is, that I have no words for it. And when you
insist that what I feel is--or should be--what you have written down on
paper, or what you speak in ritual, you lose me, Alaya. And a lot of
other people, apparently."
Alaya bit her lower lip. "Thank you for your frankness."
"I hope it's of some help."
"Well. So much for that." Alaya dismissed the subject with a visible
effort. When she spoke again she was clearly nervous. "There was
something else I wanted to talk to you about, if you have a moment. I'll
make it quick."
"Please. I have less than half an hour to make the Bullet."
"I'm curious as to how you came to join us, three years ago."
"I believe it's in the records."
"Very little of it is in the records, Jasmine; Marta left us two rather
terse paragraphs explaining it as a matter of personal obligation. A
'Sieur McGee did some work for us about ten years ago--the nature of
that work isn't in the records either. Then three years ago he petitioned
to have you admitted for residency in Goddess Home. I think you may
be the only woman who has ever lived here whose petition was
presented by a man."
Jasmine nodded. "Marta said she thought I was."
Alaya waited expectantly.
Jasmine let the silence stretch, smiling. When twenty seconds had
passed she said softly, "My father used to do this to people. Throw
silence at them and wait for them to start talking. It seemed so obvious
when I was nine years old, even then I was always surprised when I
saw it work."
"But it's not going to work on you, is it? And you're not going to tell me

how you came to Goddess Home."
Jasmine shook her head. "It was a private matter between myself and
'Sieur McGee and Marta. Marta is dead and I would not know how to
contact 'Sieur McGee if my life depended upon it."
Alaya nodded, hesitating, and then said abruptly, "You're real."
Jasmine said carefully, "I beg your pardon?"
"A lot of the women who study Wicca, who cast the spells