The Lady and the Lord | Page 8

of margins. That seemed to tickle him to death.
"He rubbed his hands together, and his eyes sparkled, and he beamed at me over the top of his spectacles for quite a minute before he said anything else. Then he shifted in his chair, and turned right round toward me, leaning forward with one elbow resting on his knee.
"'Now, listen to me, Mrs. Crothers,' he said. 'I'm going to make you a little confidence. My client, Lord Tipperary, has been spending far too much money. Too much for his own good. He is altogether too fond of borrowing, and still fonder, I am sorry to say, of gambling.
"'I have been trying for over a year past to persuade him to pull up, and pay some attention to improving his financial position. You appear to have found the key to the situation, and my proposal to you is this.
"'Let me manage the account for you. We will let Lord Tipperary imagine that he is gambling, whereas as a matter of fact I will purchase the shares outright in his name, and
The All Story Magazine, June 1911 "The Lady and the Lord" 8
hold them for him until the right moment comes to sell them again. With the funds belonging to him that I can get together I can purchase a considerable block of shares, and their increase in value within say about six months or a year should help materially toward straightening out his finances.
"'Once I have his written permission to buy the shares, and his promise not to sell them before they reach a certain figure, I can manage the rest. One of his pleasant little peculiarities is that he never breaks his promises.
"'As for yourself, how would it be if you were to receive ten per cent of the net profits on the transaction? I am sure Lord Tipperary would agree to that, and I think you are justly entitled to it for persuading my client to do what I could not talk him into doing myself.
"'Of course, I am aware that under the present arrangement existing between you, you would receive half the profits; but knowing Lord Tipperary as I do, and with all due respect to yourself, I would doubt very much there being any profits to divide. When too entirely inexperienced people open an account on the Stock Exchange, there can be only one result--a dead loss. Don't you think my arrangement would be better?'
"Well, of course, I thought it was better, and when Lord Tipperary returned from London I made him go round and settle it that way with Mr. Lewisohn. The lawyer agreed to supply me with funds as long as the agreement lasted, and though his idea and mine on what constituted enough money to go on with were slightly divergent, I got enough out of him from time to time to pay my hotel bills.
"And National Zinc, Common, went up, and up, and up. I'm not going to tell you how much I made out of it!
"But that isn't all. Before the agreement came to an end, and while I was still waiting in Southampton, Mr. Lewisohn discovered that as Amos's widow I was entitled under somebody or other's will to a life interest in a small part of the Carruthers estates. So Amos was right, after all! The income isn't much, but it's regular and safe, and I needn't go on the stage again.
"Lord Tipperary is the nicest boy in the world, but I couldn't have him falling so violently in love with me that people began to talk about it; so when I had got all the money that was coming to me, I said good-by to him and Mr. Lewisohn, and absconded to Paris. I bought all the clothes I wanted in Paris, at least all the clothes I absolutely couldn't do without, packed up my belongings, and then came straight back to New York.
"You can't think how glad I am to be back! There's no street like Broadway in the world! Now, where are you going to take me to dinner?"
I looked at her for some moments, studying her finery, and considering ways and means.
"The nattiest place in town," I said at last. "Wait while I put some decent clothes on."
"Not a bit of it," she said firmly.
"They won't allow Ugly in a natty place. Besides, you can't afford it!"
So we went to the same place that we used go to in the old days when she was hard up resting in New York between engagements.
And we enjoyed ourselves just as much as we used to; even if the restaurant was a cheap one. Afterwards, when I had seen her home, and we were still chattering on the pavement outside her apartment, I said:
"Well, good night, Kitty. I've come to