The Ladies Delight | Page 4

use and value, have employ'd the labours of the most eminent Botanists and Gardeners, to seek out remedies for them: In which, however, none have succeeded like the celebrated Dr. Misaubin who from his profound knowledge in Botany has composed a most elaborate work upon all the things that can happen, both to the Arbor Vitae_ and _Vulvaria also: There he has taught a certain cure for all these evils; and, what is most wonderful, has even found out a way of making the most venomous Vulvaria itself wholesome, which he practises daily, to the satisfaction of all that apply to him.
These venomous Vulvaria are but too common in most gardens about London_; there are many in St. _James's Park, and more in the celebrated gardens at Vaux-hall over the water.
The_ NAMES _and VIRTUES.
Besides the common name of Arbor Vitae, a very learned Philosopher and great Divine would have it call'd, Arbor Scientiae boni & mali; believing, upon very good grounds, this is the tree which grew in the middle of the garden of Eden, and whose fruits were so alluring to our first mother. Others would have it call'd the Mandrake_ of _Leah, persuaded it is the same whose juice made the before barren Rachel a joyful mother of children.
The learned Madame D'Acier_ in her notes upon _Homer contends it should be called Nepenthes. She gives many reasons why it certainly is that very plant, whose fruits the Egyptian queen recommended to Helen, as a certain cure for pain and grief of all sorts, and which She ever after kept by her as her most precious jewel, and made use of as a Panacaea upon all occasions.
The great Dr. Bentley_ calls it more than once _Machaera Herculis, having proved out of the fragments of a Greek Poet, that of this tree was made that club with which the hero is said to have overcome the fifty wild daughters of Thespius_, but which Queen _Omphale afterwards reduced to a distaff. Others have thought the celebrated Hesperian trees were of this sort; and the very name of Poma Veneris, frequently given by Authors to the fruits of this tree, is a sufficient proof these were really the Apples for which three Goddesses contended in so warm a manner, and to which the Queen of beauty had undoubtedly the strongest title.
The vertues are so many, a large volume might be wrote of them. The juice taken inwardly cures the green-sickness and other infirmities of the like sort, and is a true specific in most disorders of the fair sex. It indeed often causes tumours in the umbilical region; but even those being really of no ill consequence, disperse of themselves in a few Months.
It chears the heart, and exhilarates the mind, quiets jars, feuds and discontents, making the most churlish tempers surprizingly kind and loving. Nor have private persons only been the better for this reconciling vertue, but whole states and kingdoms, nay, the greatest empires in the world have often received the benefit of it; the most destructive wars have been ended, and the most friendly treaties been produced, by a right application of this universal medicine among the chief of the contending parties.
If any person is desirous to see this excellent and wonderful plant in good perfection, he may meet with it at the aforementioned Mr Bowen's garden at Lambeth_, who calls it _The Silver-Spoon Tree; and is at all times ready to oblige his friends with the sight of it.
THE Ridotto al' Fresco, A POEM.
What various Arts attempts the am'rous Swain,?To force the Fair, or her Consent to gain--?Now Balls_, now _Masquerades his Care employ,?And Play and Park alternately give Joy--?Industrious H----gg----r, whose magick Brains?Still in their Shell the Recipe retains?Like some good Midwife brings the Plot to light?And helps the lab'ring Swain to Celia's Sight;?For this his Eunuchs in high Buskins tread--?And chaunt harmonious Lays for this,--and Bread;?For this the Assembly's fix'd; and the huge Dome?Swells with the Lady's Vows, when the Stake's gone.--?For this he forms the vicious Masquerade,?Where Damsels may securely drive their Trade,?For which the Salesman, Chandler, Chairmen loudly pray,?And Pickpockets too, hail the joyful Day--
But now what Tongue can praise the mighty Worth,?Who to Ridotto_ gave an _English Birth;?To him let every Templar bend the Knee,?Receive a Ticket, and give up the Fee:?Let Drury-Lane eternal Columns raise,?And every wanton Wife resound his Praise;?Let Courtiers with implicit Faith obey,?And to their grand Procurer Homage pay.
No more shall Duchesses_ to _Bath repair,?Or fly to Tunbridge to procure an Heir;?Spring-Gardens can supply their every Want,?For here whate'er they ask the Swain wil grant,?And future Lords (if they'll confess the right)?Shall owe their Being to this blessed Night;?Hence future Wickedness shall take its Rise,?(For Masquerade to this is paultry Vice)?An Aera of new Crimes shall hence begin,?And H----gg----r