The Jest Book

The Jest Book, by Mark Lemon

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Title: The Jest Book The Choicest Anecdotes and Sayings
Author: Mark Lemon
Release Date: January 13, 2007 [EBook #20352]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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THE JEST BOOK
[Illustration]
UNIVERSITY PRESS: WELCH, BIGELOW, & CO.

[Illustration]
THE JEST BOOK
THE CHOICEST ANECDOTES AND SAYINGS
SELECTED AND ARRANGED BY
MARK LEMON
[Illustration]
CAMBRIDGE
SEVER AND FRANCIS
1865

[Illustration]
PREFACE.
The Compiler of this new JEST BOOK is desirous to make known that
it is composed mainly of old jokes,--some older than Joe Miller
himself,--with a liberal sprinkling of new jests gathered from books and
hearsay. In the course of his researches he has been surprised to find
how many Jests, Impromptus, and Repartees have passed current,
century after century, until their original utterer is lost in the "mist of
ages"; a Good Joke being transferred from one reputed Wit to another,
thus resembling certain rare Wines which are continually being
rebottled but are never consumed. Dr. Darwin and Sir Charles Lyell,
when they have satisfied themselves as to the Origin of Species and the
Antiquity of Man, could not better employ their speculative minds than
in determining the origin and antiquity of the venerable "joes" which
have been in circulation beyond the remembrance of that mythical
personage, "the Oldest Inhabitant."

A true Briton loves a good joke, and regards it like "a thing of beauty,"
"a joy forever," therefore we may opine that Yorick's "flashes of
merriment, which were wont to set the table in a roar," when Hamlet
was king in Denmark, were transported hither by our Danish invaders,
and descended to Wamba, Will Somers, Killigrew, and other accredited
jesters, until Mr. Joseph Miller reiterated many of them over his pipe
and tankard, when seated with his delighted auditory at the Black Jack
in Clare Market.
Modern Research has been busy with honest Joe's fame, decreeing the
collection of his jests to Captain Motley, who wrote short-lived plays in
the time of the First and Second Georges; but the same false Medium
has affected to discover that Dick Whittington did not come to London
City at the tail of a road wagon, neither was he be-ladled by a cross
cook, and driven forth to Highgate, when Bow Bells invited him to
return and make venture of his Cat, marry Fitzalwyn's daughter, and be
thrice Lord Mayor of London, albeit it is written in City chronicles, that
Whittington's statue and the effigy of his gold-compelling Grimalkin
long stood over the door of New Gate prison-house. We would not
have destroyed the faith of the Rising Generation and those who are to
succeed it in that Golden Legend, to have been thought as wise as the
Ptolemies, or to have been made president of all the Dryasdusts in
Europe. No. Let us not part with our old belief in honest Joe Miller, but
trust rather to Mr. Morley, the historian of Bartlemy Fair, and visit the
Great Theatrical Booth over against the Hospital gate of St.
Bartholomew, where Joe, probably, is to dance "the English Maggot
dance," and after the appearance of "two Harlequins, conclude with a
Grand Dance and Chorus, accompanied with Kettledrums and
Trumpets." And when the Fair is over, and we are no longer invited to
"walk up," let us march in the train of the great Mime, until he takes his
ease in his inn,--the Black Jack aforesaid,--and laugh at his jibes and
flashes of merriment, before the Mad Wag shall be silenced by the
great killjoy, Death, and the jester's boon companions shall lay him in
the graveyard in Portugal Fields, placing over him a friendly record of
his social virtues.
Joe Miller was a fact, and Modern Research shall not rob us of that

conviction!
The compiler of this volume has felt the importance of his task, and
diligently sought how to distinguish true wit from false,--the pure gold
from Brummagem brass. He has carefully perused the Eight learned
chapters on "Thoughts on Jesting," by Frederick Meier, Professor of
Philosophy at Halle, and Member of the Royal Academy of Berlin,
wherein it is declared that a jest "is an extreme fine Thought, the result
of a great Wit and Acumen, which are eminent Perfections of the
Soul." ... "Hypocrites, with the appearance but without the reality of