The Innocents Abroad | Page 2

Roman Holiday"--The Man who Never Complained-- An Exasperating Subject--Asinine Guides--The Roman Catacombs The Saint Whose Fervor Burst his Ribs--The Miracle of the Bleeding Heart --The Legend of Ara Coeli

CHAPTER XXVIII.
Picturesque Horrors--The Legend of Brother Thomas--Sorrow Scientifically Analyzed--A Festive Company of the Dead--The Great Vatican Museum Artist Sins of Omission--The Rape of the Sabines--Papal Protection of Art--High Price of "Old Masters"--Improved Scripture--Scale of Rank of the Holy Personages in Rome--Scale of Honors Accorded Them--- Fossilizing--Away for Naples

CHAPTER XXIX.
Naples--In Quarantine at Last--Annunciation--Ascent of Mount Vesuvius--A Two Cent Community--The Black Side of Neapolitan Character--Monkish Miracles--Ascent of Mount Vesuvius Continued--The Stranger and the Hackman--Night View of Naples from the Mountain-side---Ascent of Mount Vesuvius Continued

CHAPTER XXX.
Ascent of Mount Vesuvius Continued--Beautiful View at Dawn--Less Beautiful in the Back Streets--Ascent of Vesuvius Continued--Dwellings a Hundred Feet High--A Motley Procession--Bill of Fare for a Peddler's Breakfast--Princely Salaries--Ascent of Vesuvius Continued--An Average of Prices--The wonderful "Blue Grotto"--Visit to Celebrated Localities in the Bay of Naples--The Poisoned "Grotto of the Dog"--A Petrified Sea of Lava--Ascent of Mount Vesuvius Continued--The Summit Reached--Description of the Crater--Descent of Vesuvius

CHAPTER XXXI.
The Buried City of Pompeii--How Dwellings Appear that have been Unoccupied for Eighteen hundred years--The Judgment Seat--Desolation--The Footprints of the Departed--"No Women Admitted"--Theatres, Bakeshops, Schools--Skeletons preserved by the Ashes and Cinders--The Brave Martyr to Duty--Rip Van Winkle--The Perishable Nature of Fame

CHAPTER XXXII.
At Sea Once More--The Pilgrims all Well--Superb Stromboli--Sicily by Moonlight--Scylla and Charybdis--The "Oracle" at Fault--Skirting the Isles of Greece Ancient Athens--Blockaded by Quarantine and Refused Permission to Enter--Running the Blockade--A Bloodless Midnight Adventure--Turning Robbers from Necessity--Attempt to Carry the Acropolis by Storm--We Fail--Among the Glories of the Past--A World of Ruined Sculpture--A Fairy Vision--Famous Localities--Retreating in Good Order --Captured by the Guards--Travelling in Military State--Safe on Board Again

CHAPTER XXXIII.
Modern Greece--Fallen Greatness--Sailing Through the Archipelago and the Dardanelles--Footprints of History--The First Shoddy Contractor of whom History gives any Account--Anchored Before Constantinople--Fantastic Fashions--The Ingenious Goose-Rancher--Marvelous Cripples--The Great Mosque--The Thousand and One Columns--The Grand Bazaar of Stamboul

CHAPTER XXXIV.
Scarcity of Morals and Whiskey--Slave-Girl Market Report--Commercial Morality at a Discount--The Slandered Dogs of Constantinople-- Questionable Delights of Newspaperdom in Turkey--Ingenious Italian Journalism--No More Turkish Lunches Desired--The Turkish Bath Fraud-- The Narghileh Fraud--Jackplaned by a Native--The Turkish Coffee Fraud

CHAPTER XXXV.
Sailing Through the Bosporus and the Black Sea--"Far-Away Moses"-- Melancholy Sebastopol--Hospitably Received in Russia--Pleasant English People--Desperate Fighting--Relic Hunting--How Travellers Form "Cabinets"

CHAPTER XXXVI.
Nine Thousand Miles East--Imitation American Town in Russia--Gratitude that Came Too Late--To Visit the Autocrat of All the Russias

CHAPTER XXXVII.
Summer Home of Royalty--Practising for the Dread Ordeal--Committee on Imperial Address--Reception by the Emperor and Family--Dresses of the Imperial Party--Concentrated Power--Counting the Spoons--At the Grand Duke's--A Charming Villa--A Knightly Figure--The Grand Duchess--A Grand Ducal Breakfast--Baker's Boy, the Famine-Breeder--Theatrical Monarchs a Fraud--Saved as by Fire--The Governor--General's Visit to the Ship-- Official "Style"--Aristocratic Visitors--"Munchausenizing" with Them-- Closing Ceremonies

CHAPTER XXXVIII.
Return to Constantinople--We Sail for Asia--The Sailors Burlesque the Imperial Visitors--Ancient Smyrna--The "Oriental Splendor" Fraud-- The "Biblical Crown of Life"--Pilgrim Prophecy-Savans--Sociable Armenian Girls--A Sweet Reminiscence--"The Camels are Coming, Ha-ha!"

CHAPTER XXXIX.
Smyrna's Lions--The Martyr Polycarp--The "Seven Churches"--Remains of the Six Smyrnas--Mysterious Oyster Mine Oysters--Seeking Scenery--A Millerite Tradition--A Railroad Out of its Sphere

CHAPTER XL.
Journeying Toward Ancient Ephesus--Ancient Ayassalook--The Villanous Donkey--A Fantastic Procession--Bygone Magnificence--Fragments of History--The Legend of the Seven Sleepers

CHAPTER XLI.
Vandalism Prohibited--Angry Pilgrims--Approaching Holy Land!--The "Shrill Note of Preparation"--Distress About Dragomans and Transportation-- The "Long Route" Adopted--In Syria--Something about Beirout--A Choice Specimen of a Greek "Ferguson"--Outfits--Hideous Horseflesh--Pilgrim "Style"--What of Aladdin's Lamp?

CHAPTER XLII.
"Jacksonville," in the Mountains of Lebanon--Breakfasting above a Grand Panorama--The Vanished City--The Peculiar Steed, "Jericho"--The Pilgrims Progress--Bible Scenes--Mount Hermon, Joshua's Battle Fields, etc.-- The Tomb of Noah--A Most Unfortunate People

CHAPTER XLIII.
Patriarchal Customs--Magnificent Baalbec--Description of the Ruins-- Scribbling Smiths and Joneses--Pilgrim Fidelity to the Letter of the Law --The Revered Fountain of Baalam's Ass

CHAPTER XLIV.
Extracts from Note-Book--Mahomet's Paradise and the Bible's--Beautiful Damascus the Oldest City on Earth--Oriental Scenes within the Curious Old City--Damascus Street Car--The Story of St. Paul--The "Street called Straight"--Mahomet's Tomb and St. George's--The Christian Massacre-- Mohammedan Dread of Pollution--The House of Naaman-- The Horrors of Leprosy

CHAPTER XLV.
The Cholera by way of Variety--Hot--Another Outlandish Procession--Pen and-Ink Photograph of "Jonesborough," Syria--Tomb of Nimrod, the Mighty Hunter--The Stateliest Ruin of All--Stepping over the Borders of Holy- Land--Bathing in the Sources of Jordan--More "Specimen" Hunting--Ruins of Cesarea--Philippi--"On This Rock Will I Build my Church"--The People the Disciples Knew--The Noble Steed "Baalbec"--Sentimental Horse Idolatry of the Arabs

CHAPTER XLVI.
Dan--Bashan--Genessaret--A Notable Panorama--Smallness of Palestine-- Scraps of History--Character of the Country--Bedouin Shepherds--Glimpses of the Hoary Past--Mr. Grimes's Bedouins--A Battle--Ground of Joshua-- That Soldier's Manner of Fighting--Barak's Battle--The Necessity of Unlearning Some Things--Desolation

CHAPTER XLVII.
"Jack's Adventure"--Joseph's Pit--The Story of Joseph--Joseph's Magnanimity and Esau's--The Sacred Lake of Genessaret--Enthusiasm of the Pilgrims--Why We did not Sail on Galilee--About Capernaum--Concerning the Saviour's Brothers and Sisters--Journeying toward Magdela

CHAPTER XLVIII.
Curious Specimens of Art and Architecture--Public Reception of the Pilgrims--Mary Magdalen's House--Tiberias and its Queer Inhabitants-- The Sacred Sea of Galilee--Galilee by Night

CHAPTER XLIX.
The Ancient Baths--Ye Apparition--A Distinguished Panorama--The Last