The Inner Sisterhood | Page 5

But I made myself so agreeable and altogether lovely that dear Robert F. did not go near her the entire evening; only gave her, from across the room, by my side, the bow of compensation. He left that rose, thanks to me and my successful efforts, to languish unnoticed in its lover's knot of pale blue. Ah, Kate Meadows, that time your lover's knot was made in vain!
The "Earnest Workers," a society of our church, for ladies only, meets this afternoon at four, and it's nearly that time now; so I must put on what I call my "charity dress and poverty hat." It's such a good thing to dress plain and religious-like now and then, just for a change, especially when it's becoming. I will carry my little work-basket and wear, as I go down the street, a quiet, sober smile, and cultivate a pious air--a trifle pious anyhow. And if I chance to meet Mr. Fairfield he will, of course, join me, and wonder as we walk how one so worldly can be, at times, so charitably inclined and so full of such good works and holy thoughts. I sometimes wish I was good. But it's so stupid to be good, and the men don't like you half as well. And I am very willing to acknowledge it, I like the admiration of men. I don't know any "balm in Gilead" so sweet and altogether acceptable.
But see! Down the street, right beneath my room-window, comes that Kate Meadows; and Robert Fairfield's with her! He holds her prayer-book in his hand! How earnestly they are talking! I wonder what it's about? What a tender look on his face turned full toward her downcast eyes! O, the hypocrite! They are both hypocrites; we are all hypocrites! On their way to that horrid afternoon Lenten service! It's a whole square out of the way to come by this house! She did it on purpose; I know it, I know it! She just wanted me to see her with him! She's the meanest girl in this town! I always disliked her, and now I fairly despise the very ground she walks on--when she's walking it with him! She's coming to spend all of Tuesday morning with me; won't I be gracious though! I'll kiss her three or four times, instead of the regulation-twice! I can be hypocritical, and sauve too! I don't wish I was good! I don't ever want to be good! They have turned the corner! They are out of sight! I just won't go one step to the "Earnest Workers!" It's all nonsense, any how! Just sewing, and gossiping, and talking about the minister and his wife, and all the rest of the congregation who are not there! No, no, NO! I'll just stay right here at home, and I'll have--yes, I will--I'll have a real good cry.
[Illustration: Miss Bella Mason. (of the Inner Sisterhood.)]

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III
A Wild Fantasy In Garrulous Red.
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The Buzz-Saw Girl
I just must talk! I must talk all the time! Of course I talk entirely too much--no one knows that any better than I do--yet I can not help it! I know that my continual cackling is dreadful, and I know just exactly when it begins to bore people, but somehow I can't stop myself, but go right on and on in spite of myself.
Aunt Patsey says I am simply fearful, and just like a girl she used to know, who lived down-East, a Miss Polly Blanton, who talked all the time; told every thing, every thing she knew, every thing she had ever heard; and then when she could think of nothing else, boldly began on the family secrets. Well, I believe I am just like that girl--because I am constantly telling things about our domestic life which is by no means pleasant. Pa and ma lead an awful kind of an existence--live just like cats and dogs. Now I ought never to tell that, yet somehow it will slip out in spite of myself!
My pa says I really do act as if I did not have good sense, and I am, for the world, just like ma. And ma, she says I am without delicacy, manners, or any of the other new touches that most girls have. As for Aunt Patsey, she is always after me! She is "Old Propriety" itself! She goes in heavy for good form. "Not good form, my dear, not good form!" is what I hear from morning until night. I do get so tired of it! They are all real hard on me! No body ever gives me encouragement, and yet every body is ready with heavy doses of admonition! Now ma is a powerful big talker herself, although she won't acknowledge it;