The Inner Sisterhood | Page 6

As for
Aunt Patsey, she is always after me! She is "Old Propriety" itself! She
goes in heavy for good form. "Not good form, my dear, not good
form!" is what I hear from morning until night. I do get so tired of it!
They are all real hard on me! No body ever gives me encouragement,
and yet every body is ready with heavy doses of admonition! Now ma
is a powerful big talker herself, although she won't acknowledge it; but
she always seems to know just what not to say! I call that real
talking-luck! I am so unlucky talking.
But the big power in our house is Aunt Patsey Wing! There is always
bound to be such a person in every well-furnished house! They seem to
be just as necessary as the sofas and easy-chairs--but not quite so
comfortable to have around. We are all deathly afraid of her! She is
rich, stingy, and says that she has made a will, leaving every dollar to
the "Widows and Orphans' Home"--a nice way to do her relations! So
of course we are on the strain; on our best behavior to effect a change
in our favor. Ma says she will never, in this world, change it--and
changes made in any other world won't do us any good. But pa says he
knows how to break it! Mr. Meggley, her lawyer, who drew up the will,
has made an agreement to sell pa the flaw--for of course there is one in
it, for all wills have flaws--then he will employ another lawyer and
break it without any trouble. My, it will be so exciting! I suppose we
will have to prove that Aunt Patsey was of unsound mind. Pa will give
us our testimony to learn by heart! Pa is a real enterprising man! Some
people say he is a regular schemer, but Aunt Patsey says that he is a
brilliant financier! He has made and lost two or three big fortunes! He

lost one not long ago, and it is so hard just now to make both ends meet.
But Aunt Patsey pays a little board; that helps along, at least with the
table!
Pa gives me a small allowance--when he has the money; then not one
cent more! I believe every body in town knows just how much he
allows me! Pa says I told it, myself. Perhaps I did; one can't remember
every thing one chances to say. Although my amount is small, yet I
have quite a little way of fixing myself, and always looking real nice.
Aunt Patsey says I do pretty well, until I open my big mouth and begin
to rattle, rattle, rattle! She says I talk more and say less than any body
she has ever known, except that down-East girl, Polly Blanton, who
always told--when in want of any other topic--the family secrets. Aunt
Patsey is forever-and-a-day preaching to me about good form; what I
ought, and what I ought not to do; sometimes repeats long passages
from the prayer-book--nearly all the morning service--then says, "It's
no use, no use; just like pouring water on a duck's back!" But she must
love to do useless things, for she just keeps right on. She says that I
ought to be able to keep silent once in a while, anyhow; but I don't
know how to keep silent.
Some body had to come and tell her--Aunt Patsey--that I talked a great
deal, and very loud, at the theater, between acts. Now the idea of
finding fault with girls, or any body, who talk between acts! Why it's
just perfectly delightful! I begin the moment the curtain drops; I don't
even wait for the music to begin--it is such a waste of time! I know that
I do talk a little too loud; but just lots of real nice persons talk real loud
at the theater--it comes natural. When people turn around and look at
me as if I was really doing something dreadful, then I talk ever and ever
so much more! People can't frown me down--no indeed, double deed,
not if Alice Wing knows any thing about herself! People who know me
never try; except my family, headed by Aunt Patsey, who always says,
"We are prompted by a deep sense of duty, my dear, duty!"
I am almost engaged! Even Aunt Patsey likes the man, and O, so do I!
He is nice and quiet, and just loves to hear me talk--never interrupts me,
but lets me go on, and looks at me so admiring-like all the time! Ma

says I am sure to spoil every thing by too much talking! He is so timid!
I encourage him, though, all I can; he seems to like encouragement so
much! He understands and