The Impostures of Scapin | Page 8

scoundrel! and your conscience must tell you only too well
what it is.
SCA. I assure you that I do not know what you mean.
LEA. (going towards SCAPIN _to strike him_). You do not know?
OCT. (keeping back LÉANDRE). Léandre!
SCA. Well, Sir, since you will have it, I confess that I drank with some
of my friends that small cask of Spanish wine you received as a present
some days ago, and that it was I who made that opening in the cask,
and spilled some water on the ground round it, to make you believe that
all the wine had leaked out.
LEA. What! scoundrel, it was you who drank my Spanish wine, and
who suffered me to scold the servant so much, because I thought it was
she who had played me that trick?
SCA. Yes, Sir; I am very sorry, Sir.
LEA. I am glad to know this. But this is not what I am about now.
SCA. It is not that, Sir?
LEA. No; it is something else, for which I care much more, and I will
have you tell it me.
SCA. I do not remember, Sir, that I ever did anything else.
LEA. (trying to strike SCAPIN). Will you speak?
SCA. Ah!
OCT. (keeping back LÉANDRE). Gently.
SCA. Yes, Sir; it is true that three weeks ago, when you sent me in the

evening to take a small watch to the gypsy [Footnote: _Égyptienne_.
Compare act v. scene ii. _Bohémienne_ is a more usual name.] girl you
love, and I came back, my clothes spattered with mud and my face
covered with blood, I told you that I had been attacked by robbers who
had beaten me soundly and had stolen the watch from me. It is true that
I told a lie. It was I who kept the watch, Sir.
LEA. It was you who stole the watch?
SCA. Yes, Sir, in order to know the time.
LEA. Ah! you are telling me fine things; I have indeed a very faithful
servant! But it is not this that I want to know of you.
SCA. It is not this?
LEA. No, infamous wretch! it is something else that I want you to
confess.
SCA. (_aside_). Mercy on me!
LEA. Speak at once; I will not be put off.
SCA. Sir, I have done nothing else.
LEA. (trying to strike SCAPIN). Nothing else?
OCT. (_stepping between them_). Ah! I beg....
SCA. Well, Sir, you remember that ghost that six months ago cudgelled
you soundly, and almost made you break your neck down a cellar,
where you fell whilst running away?
LEA. Well?
SCA. It was I, Sir, who was playing the ghost.
LEA. It was you, wretch! who were playing the ghost?
SCA. Only to frighten you a little, and to cure you of the habit of
making us go out every night as you did.
LEA. I will remember in proper time and place all I have just heard.
But I'll have you speak about the present matter, and tell me what it is
you said to my father.
SCA. What I said to your father?
LEA. Yes, scoundrel! to my father.
SCA. Why, I have not seen him since his return!
LEA. You have not seen him?
SCA. No, Sir.
LEA. Is that the truth?
SCA. The perfect truth; and he shall tell you so himself.
LEA. And yet it was he himself who told me.

SCA. With your leave, Sir, he did not tell you the truth.

SCENE VI.--LÉANDRE, OCTAVE, CARLE, SCAPIN.
CAR. Sir, I bring you very bad news concerning your love affair.
LEA. What is it now?
CAR. The gypsies are on the point of carrying off Zerbinette. She came
herself all in tears to ask me to tell you that, unless you take to them,
before two hours are over, the money they have asked you for her, she
will be lost to you for ever.
LEA. Two hours?
CAR. Two hours.

SCENE VII.--LÉANDRE, OCTAVE, SCAPIN.
LEA. Ah! my dear Scapin, I pray you to help me.
SCA. (rising and passing proudly before LÉANDRE). Ah! my dear
Scapin! I am my dear Scapin, now that I am wanted.
LEA. I will forgive you all that you confessed just now, and more also.
SCA. No, no; forgive me nothing; run your sword through and through
my body. I should be perfectly satisfied if you were to kill me.
LEA. I beseech you rather to give me life by serving my love.
SCA. Nay, nay; better kill me.
LEA. You are too dear to me for that. I beg of you to make use for me
of that wonderful genius of yours which can conquer everything.
SCA. Certainly not. Kill me, I tell you.
LEA. Ah! for mercy's