The Importance of Being Earnest

The Importance of Being Earnest, by
Oscar Wilde

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Title: The Importance of Being Earnest
Author: Oscar Wilde
Release Date: March, 1997 [EBook #844] [This file was first posted on March 8, 1997]
[Most recently updated: June 2, 2004]
Edition: 10
Language: English
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BEING EARNEST ***

Transcribed by David Price, email [email protected]

The Importance of Being Earnest A Trivial Comedy for Serious People

THE PERSONS IN THE PLAY
John Worthing, J.P. Algernon Moncrieff Rev. Canon Chasuble, D.D. Merriman, Butler
Lane, Manservant Lady Bracknell Hon. Gwendolen Fairfax Cecily Cardew Miss Prism,
Governess

THE SCENES OF THE PLAY
ACT I. Algernon Moncrieff's Flat in Half-Moon Street, W.
ACT II. The Garden at the Manor House, Woolton.
ACT III. Drawing-Room at the Manor House, Woolton.
TIME: The Present.

LONDON: ST. JAMES'S THEATRE
Lessee and Manager: Mr. George Alexander
February 14th, 1895
* * * * *
John Worthing, J.P.: Mr. George Alexander. Algernon Moncrieff: Mr. Allen Aynesworth.
Rev. Canon Chasuble, D.D.: Mr. H. H. Vincent. Merriman: Mr. Frank Dyall. Lane: Mr. F.
Kinsey Peile. Lady Bracknell: Miss Rose Leclercq. Hon. Gwendolen Fairfax: Miss Irene
Vanbrugh. Cecily Cardew: Miss Evelyn Millard. Miss Prism: Mrs. George Canninge.

FIRST ACT
SCENE
Morning-room in Algernon's flat in Half-Moon Street. The room is luxuriously and
artistically furnished. The sound of a piano is heard in the adjoining room.
[Lane is arranging afternoon tea on the table, and after the music has ceased, Algernon
enters.]
Algernon. Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?

Lane. I didn't think it polite to listen, sir.
Algernon. I'm sorry for that, for your sake. I don't play accurately--any one can play
accurately--but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the piano is concerned,
sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life.
Lane. Yes, sir.
Algernon. And, speaking of the science of Life, have you got the cucumber sandwiches
cut for Lady Bracknell?
Lane. Yes, sir. [Hands them on a salver.]
Algernon. [Inspects them, takes two, and sits down on the sofa.] Oh! . . . by the way,
Lane, I see from your book that on Thursday night, when Lord Shoreman and Mr.
Worthing were dining with me, eight bottles of champagne are entered as having been
consumed.
Lane. Yes, sir; eight bottles and a pint.
Algernon. Why is it that at a bachelor's establishment the servants invariably drink the
champagne? I ask merely for information.
Lane. I attribute it to the superior quality of the wine, sir. I have often observed that in
married households the champagne is rarely of a first-rate brand.
Algernon. Good heavens! Is marriage so demoralising as that?
Lane. I believe it is a very pleasant state, sir. I have had very little experience of it myself
up to the present. I have only been married once. That was in consequence of a
misunderstanding between myself and a young person.
Algernon. [Languidly.] I don't know that I am much interested in your family life, Lane.
Lane. No, sir; it is not a very interesting subject. I never think of it myself.
Algernon. Very natural, I am sure. That will do, Lane, thank you.
Lane. Thank you, sir. [Lane goes out.]
Algernon. Lanes views on marriage seem somewhat lax. Really, if the lower orders don't
set us a good example, what on earth is the use of them? They seem, as a class, to have
absolutely no sense of moral responsibility.
[Enter Lane.]
Lane. Mr. Ernest Worthing.
[Enter Jack.]

[Lane goes out.]
Algernon. How are you, my dear Ernest? What brings you up to town?
Jack. Oh, pleasure, pleasure! What else should bring one anywhere? Eating as usual, I see,
Algy!
Algernon. [Stiffly.] I believe it is customary in good society to take some slight
refreshment at five o'clock. Where have you been since