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route on the map, and I determined on the dress which I
would wear as his travelling-companion when we would go and visit
"that sea-engarlanded Norway." Ah! there soon came for me other
journeys.
It was during these days also that my first-born saw the light; my
beautiful boy! who so fettered both my love and my thoughts that Ernst
grew almost jealous. How often did I steal out of bed at night in order
to watch him while he slept! He was a lively, restless child, and it
therefore was a peculiar pleasure for me to see him at rest; besides
which, he was so angelically lovely in sleep! I could have spent whole
nights bending over his cradle.
So far, Cecilia, all went with us as in the romances with which we in
our youth nourished heart and soul. But far other times came. In the
first place, the sad change in the circumstances of my parents, which
operated so severely on our position in life; and then for me so many
children--cares without end, grief and sickness! My body and mind
must both have given way under their burden, had Ernst not been the
man he is.
It suited his character to struggle against the stream; it was a sort of
pleasure to him to combat with it, to meet difficulties, and to overcome
them. With each succeeding year he imposed more business upon
himself, and by degrees, through the most resolute industry, he was
enabled to bring back prosperity to his house. And then how
unwearingly kind he was to me! How tenderly sustaining in those very
moments, when without him I must have found myself so utterly
miserable! How many a sleepless night has he passed on my account!
How often has he soothed to sleep a sickly child in his arms! And then,
too, every child which came, as it were only to multiply his cares, and
increase the necessity for his labour, was to him a delight--was received

as a gift of God's mercy--and its birth made a festival in the house.
How my heart has thanked him, and how has his strength and assurance
nerved me!
When little Gabriele was born I was very near death; and it is my firm
belief that, without Ernst's care for me, I must then have parted from
my little ones. During the time of great weakness which succeeded this,
my foot scarcely ever touched the ground. I was carried by Ernst
himself wherever I would. He was unwearied in goodness and patience
towards the sick mother. Should she not now, that she is again in health,
dedicate her life to him? Ah, yes, that should she, and that will she!
Alas, were but my ability as strong as my will!
Do you know one thing, Cecilia, which often occasions me great
trouble? It is that I am not a clever housewife; that I can neither take
pleasure in all the little cares and details which the well-being of a
house really requires, nor that I have memory for these things; more
especially is the daily caring for dinner irksome to me. I myself have
but little appetite; and it is so unpleasing to me to go to sleep at night,
and to get up in the morning with my head full of schemes for cooking.
By this means, it happens that sometimes my husband's domestic
comforts are not such as he has a right to demand. Hitherto my weak
health, the necessary care of the children, and our rather narrow
circumstances, have furnished me with sufficient excuses; but these
now will avail me no longer; my health is again established, and our
greater prosperity furnishes the means for better household
management.
On this account, I now exert myself to perform all my duties well; but,
ah! how pleasant it will be when the little Louise is sufficiently grown
up, that I may lay part of the housekeeping burdens on her shoulders. I
fancy to myself that she will have peculiar pleasure in all these things.
I am to-day two-and-thirty years old. It seems to me that I have entered
a new period of my life: my youth lies behind me, I am advanced into
middle age, and I well know what both this and my husband have a
right to demand from me. May a new and stronger being awake in me!
May God support me, and Ernst be gentle towards his erring wife!

Ernst should have married a more energetic woman. My nervous
weakness makes my temper irritable, and I am so easily annoyed. His
activity of mind often disturbs me more than it is reasonable or right
that it should; for instance, I get regularly into a state of excitement, if
he only steadfastly fixes