The History of Caliph Vathek | Page 6

unable to gratify their hankering, for no one
knew which way the stranger had gone.
As to the Caliph's other requisition, the result was different. The
learned, the half-learned, and those who were neither, but fancied
themselves equal to both, came boldly to hazard their beards, and all
shamefully lost them.
The exaction of these forfeitures, which found sufficient employment
for the eunuchs, gave them such a smell of singed hair as greatly to
disgust the ladies of the seraglio, and make it necessary that this new
occupation of their guardians should be transferred into other hands.
At length, however, an old man presented himself whose beard was a
cubit and a half longer than any that had appeared before him. The
officers of the palace whispered to each other, as they ushered him in,
"What a pity such a beard should be burnt!" Even the Caliph, when he
saw it, concurred with them in opinion, but his concern was entirely
needless. This venerable personage read the characters with facility,
and explained them verbatim as follows: "We were made where
everything good is made; we are the least of the wonders of a place
where all is wonderful, and deserving the sight of the first potentate on
earth."
"You translate admirably!" cried Vathek; "I know to what these
marvellous characters allude. Let him receive as many robes of honour
and thousands of sequins of gold as he hath spoken words. I am in

some measure relieved from the perplexity that embarrassed me!"
Vathek invited the old main to dine, and even to remain some days in
the palace. Unluckily for him, he accepted the offer; for the Caliph,
having ordered him next morning to be called, said: "Read again to me
what you have read already; I cannot hear too often the promise that is
made me, the completion of which I languish to obtain."
The old man forthwith put on his green spectacles, but they instantly
dropped from his nose on perceiving that the characters he had read the
day preceding had given place to others of different import.
"What ails you?" asked the Caliph; "and why these symptoms of
wonder?"
"Sovereign of the world," replied the old man, "these sabres hold
another language to-day from that they yesterday held."
"How say you?" returned Vathek; "but it matters not! tell me, if you
can, what they mean."
"It is this, my lord," rejoined the old man: "Woe to the rash mortal who
seeks to know that of which he should remain ignorant, and to
undertake that which surpasseth his power!"
"And woe to thee!" cried the Caliph, in a burst of indignation; "to-day
thou art void of understanding. Begone from my presence; they shall
burn but the half of thy beard, because, thou wert yesterday fortunate in
guessing; my gifts I never resume."
The old man, wise enough to perceive he had luckily escaped,
considering the folly of disclosing so disgusting a truth, immediately
withdrew, and appeared not again.
But it was not long before Vathek discovered abundant reason to regret
his precipitation; for though he could not decipher the characters
himself, yet by constantly poring upon them he plainly perceived that
they every day changed, and unfortunately no other candidate offered

to explain them. This perplexing occupation inflamed his blood,
dazzled his sight, and brought on a giddiness and debility that he could
not support. He failed not, however, though in so reduced a condition,
to be often carried to his tower, as he flattered himself that he might
there read in the stars which he went to consult something more
congenial to his wishes: but in this his hopes were deluded, for his eyes,
dimmed by the vapours of his head, began to subserve his curiosity so
ill, that he beheld nothing but a thick dun cloud, which he took for the
most direful of omens.
Agitated with so much anxiety, Vathek entirely lost all firmness; a
fever seized him, and his appetite failed. Instead of being one of the
greatest eaters, he became as distinguished for drinking. So insatiable
was the thirst which tormented him that his mouth, like a funnel, was
always open to receive the various liquors that might be poured into it,
and especially cold water, which calmed him more than every other.
This unhappy prince being thus incapacitated for the enjoyment of any
pleasure, commanded the palaces of the five senses to be shut up,
forbore to appear in public, either to display his magnificence or
administer justice, and retired to the inmost apartment of his harem. As
he had ever been an indulgent husband, his wives, overwhelmed with
grief at his deplorable situation, incessantly offered their prayers for his
health, and unremittingly supplied him with water.
In the meantime the Princess Carathis, whose