The Hero of the Humber | Page 7

haughty and very bad tempered, but God can, and I
believe he will, break my rocky heart in pieces. March 3rd.--This has
been a good Sabbath; we had a good prayer meeting at 7 o'clock, a
profitable class at 9, in the school the Lord was with us, and the
preaching services were good. 4th.--Last night I had a severe attack of
my old complaint and suffered greatly for many hours, but I called
upon God and he delivered me. 16th.--I am in good health, for which,
and the use of my reason, and all the blessings that God bestows upon
me, I am thankful. I am unworthy of the least of them. O that I could
love God ten thousand times more than I do; for I feel ashamed of
myself that I love him so little. 19th.--I am ill in body but well in soul.
The flesh may give way, and the devil may tempt me, and all hell may
rage, yet I believe the Lord will bring me through. April 6th.--To-day,
in the haste of my temper, I called a man a liar. I now feel that I did
wrong in the sight of God and man. I am deeply sorry. May God
forgive me, and may I sin no more. May 6th.--O God make me faithful
and give to thy servant the spirit of prayer. Like David, I want to
resolve, "Speak, Lord; for thy servant heareth"; like Mary I want to
"ponder these things in my heart"; like the Bereans I want to "search
the scriptures" daily and in the spirit of Samuel to say "Speak, Lord; for
thy servant heareth." May 20th.--I am at Hessle feast, and thank God it
has been a feast to my soul. I have attended one prayer meeting, two
class meetings, three preaching services. Bless God for these means of
grace. My little book is full and I do trust I am a better man than when I
began to write my diary. 29th.--My dear wife is very ill, but the Lord
does all things well. I know that He can, and believe that He will, raise
her up again and that the affliction of her body will turn to the salvation
of her soul. 30th.--I am now laid under fresh obligations to God. He has
given me another son. May he be a goodly child, like Moses, and grow
up to be a man after God's own heart. July 3rd.--This day the Victoria

docks have been opened. It has been a day of trial and conflict, for I ran
the Packet into a Schooner and did £10 damage. It was a trial of my
faith, and through the assistance of God I overcame. August
20th.--Sunday.--How thankful I am that God has set one day in seven
when we can get away from the wear and tear of life and worship Him
under our own vine and fig tree none daring to make us afraid. It is all
of God's wisdom, and mercy, and goodness. September 11th.--To-night
I put my wife's name in the class book; may she be a very good
member, such a one as Thou wilt own when Thou numbers up Thy
jewels. October 11th.--I did wrong last night, being quite in a passion
at my wife, which grieved her. Lord help me and make me never differ
with her again. 12th.--I feel much better in my soul this morning and
will, from this day promise in the strength of grace, never to allow
myself to be thrown into a passion again: it grieves my soul, it hurts my
mind. 1851. January 7th.--Five years this day I entered my present
situation under the Hull Dock Company. Then I was a drunken man,
and a great swearer; but I thank God he has changed my heart.
18th.--This has been a very troublesome day to my soul. I have been
busy with the sunken packet all day and hav'nt had time to get to prayer.
My soul feels hungry. 29th.--This has been a day of prayerful anxiety
about my son; he has passed his third examination, God having heard
my prayer on his behalf. Feb. 24th.--I have been to the teetotal meeting
and have taken the pledge, and I intend, through the grace of God, to
keep as long as I live. March 1st.--The Rev. W. Clowes is still alive.
May the Lord grant that he may not have much pain. While brother
Newton and I were in the room with him we felt it good; O the beauty
of seeing a good man in a dying state. May I live the life of the
righteous and may my last end be like Mr. Clowes's. 2nd.--The first
thing I did this morning was to go and inquire after Mr.