The Happy Family | Page 7

son--Oh, beloved! but they're hitting her up lively. If
they made the whole trip in that there frame uh mind, they could uh
gone clean to Miles City and back. How pretty the birds sing! Pink,
you'll hear words, directly."
Directly Pink did.
"You're the biggest liar on earth," Sherwood Branciforte contributed to
the recriminating wave that near engulfed Andy Green. "You sent us
down there on a wild-goose chase, you brute. You--"
"I never sent nobody," Andy defended. "You was all crazy to go."
"And nothing but an old stone hut some trapper had built!" came an
indignant, female tone. "There never was any castle, nor--"
"A man's home is his castle," argued Andy, standing unabashed before
them. "Putting it that way, it was a castle, all right."
There was babel, out of which--
"And the skeleton! Oh, you--it was a dead _cow!_" This from the
young old lady, who was looking very draggled and not at all young.
"I don't call to mind ever saying it was human," put in Andy, looking at
her with surprised, gray eyes.
"And the battlements!" groaned the-girl-who-does-things.
"You wanted battlements," Andy flung mildly into the uproar. "I
always aim to please." With that he edged away from them and made
his escape to where the cook was profanely mixing biscuits for supper.
All-day moves put an edge to his temper. The cook growled an epithet,
and Andy passed on. Down near the stable he met one of the chosen
half, and the fellow greeted him with a grin. Andy stopped abruptly.
"Say, they don't seem none too agreeable," he began tentatively, jerking
his thumb toward the buzzing group. "How about it, Sandy? Was they

that petulant all the way?"
Sandy, the map-bearer, chuckled. "It's lucky you got hurt at the last
minute! And yet it was worth the trip. Uh course we got stalled with the
wagons, the second day out, but them women was sure ambitious, and
made us go on with a packadero layout. I will say that, going down,
they stood the hardships remarkable. It was coming back that frazzled
the party.
"And when we found the place--say, but it was lucky you wasn't along!
They sure went hog-wild when they seen the ruins. The old party with
the pompadoor displayed temper, and shed tears uh rage. When she
looked into the cabin and seen the remains uh that cow-critter, there
was language it wasn't polite to overhear. She said a lot uh things about
you, Andy. One thing they couldn't seem to get over, and that was the
smallness uh the blamed shack. Them fourteen or fifteen rooms laid
heavy on their minds."
"I didn't say there was fourteen or fifteen rooms. I said I didn't count
the rooms; I didn't either. I never heard of anybody counting one room.
Did you, Pink?"
"No," Pink agreed, "I never did!"
Sandy became suddenly convulsed. "Oh, but the funniest thing was the
ancient pottery," he gasped, the tears standing in his eyes. "That old
Dutch oven was bad enough; but when one uh the girls--that one that
collects old dishes--happened across an old mackerel can and picked it
up and saw the fish on the label, she was the maddest female person I
ever saw in my life, barring none. If you'd been in reach about that time,
she'd just about clawed your eyes out, Andy Green. Oh me, oh my!"
Sandy slapped his thigh and had another spasm.
Sounds indicated that the wave of recrimination was rolling nearer.
Andy turned to find himself within arm's length of Uncle Pete.
"Maybe this is your idea of a practical joke, Green," he said to Andy.
"But anyway, it will cost you your job. I ought to charge you up with
the time my outfit has spent gallivanting around the country on the
strength of your wild yarn. The quicker you hit the trail, the better it
will suit me. By the way, what's your first name?" He asked, pulling
out a check-book.
"Andy," answered the unrepentant one.
"Andy," Uncle Peter paused with a fountain pen between his fingers.

He looked Andy up and down, and the frown left his face. He
proceeded to write out the check, and when it was done he handed it
over with a pleased smile.
"What did you do it for, Green?" he queried in a friendlier tone.
"Self-defence," Andy told him laconically, and turned away.
Half an hour later, Andy and Pink trailed out of the coulee that
sheltered the Rocking R. When they were out and away from the fence,
and Pink's horses, knowing instinctively that they were homeward
bound, were jogging straight west without need of guidance, Andy felt
in his pocket for cigarette material. His fingers came in contact with the
check Uncle Peter