The Handy Cyclopedia of Things Worth Knowing | Page 6

all a protection, for in these busy days and in a large city a death affecting our acquaintances is not always known to us. If we meet a friend wearing black we are instantly apprised that she has suffered the loss of a near member of her family. It is easy to say under such circumstances, "I am very sorry to see you in black," or "I am afraid I have not heard of your loss."
For a father or mother full mourning, that is, black unrelieved by any touch of white, is worn for a year, and at the end of that period half mourning, consisting first of white with black, and then violet and gray, is worn for the second year. For a brother or sister or grandparent black is worn for six months, and then half mourning for the six months preceding the wearing of ordinary colors. What is called complimentary mourning, put on at the death of a relative by marriage, consists of the wearing of black for a period of from six weeks to a year, depending on the closeness of the personal relationship. For instance, in the case of the death of a mother-in-law residing in a distant city, it would only be necessary for a woman to wear black for a few weeks following the funeral. If, on the other hand, she resides in the same place and is a great deal in the company of her husband's family, it would show more tact and affection on her part to refrain from wearing colors for a longer period.
Crepe is no longer obligatory in even first mourning. Many widows only wear the crepe-bordered veil hanging from the conventional bonnet for the funeral services and for a few weeks afterward, when it is replaced by an ordinary hat and veil of plain black net bordered with thin black silk. Widows wear neck and cuff bands of unstarched white book muslin, this being the only sort of white permitted during the first period of mourning. Young widows, especially those who must lead an active life, often lighten their mourning during the second year and discard it at the end of the second year. Of course the conventional period of mourning for a widow is three years, but, if there should be any indication that a second marriage is contemplated, black should gradually be put aside.
However, the discarding of mourning is no indication that a woman is about to change her name, and the wearing of black is so much a matter of personal feeling that a woman should not be criticised for curtailing the conventional period.
In this country it is not the custom for young children to wear mourning, and with men the wearing of a black band about the hat or on the left arm is all that is deemed necessary.
A woman wearing full mourning refrains from attending the theater or any large functions. She may properly be seen at concerts, club meetings or lectures, and she may receive and visit her friends informally.

ETIQUETTE OF THE VISITING CARD.
The prevailing shape for a woman's card is nearly square (about 2-1/2 by 3 inches), while the correct form for a man's card is slightly smaller. The color should be pure white with a dull finish, while the engraving, plain script or more elaborate text, is a matter of choice and fashion varying from time to time. It is safe to trust the opinion of a first-class stationer in this matter, for styles fluctuate, and he should be constantly informed of what polite usage demands.
A woman's card should always bear the prefix "Miss" or "Mrs." There is no exception to this rule save in the case of women who have regularly graduated in medicine or theology and who are allowed therefore the use of "Dr." or "Rev." before the name. "Miss" or "Mrs." should not be used in addition to either of these titles.
The card of a married woman is engraved with her husband's full name, such as Mrs. William Eaton Brown, but she has no right to any titles he may bear. If he is a judge or colonel she is still Mrs. James Eaton Brown and not Mrs. Judge or Mrs. Colonel Brown.
A widow may with propriety retain the same visiting card that she used during the lifetime of her husband, especially if she has no grown son who bears his father's name. In that case she generally has her cards engraved with a part of her full maiden name before her husband's name, such as Mrs. Mary Baker Brown. In this country a divorced woman, if she has children, does not discard her husband's family name, neither does she retain his given name. For social purposes she becomes Mrs. Mary Baker Brown or, if she wishes,