The Handy Cyclopedia of Things Worth Knowing | Page 3

devotion to which she has as yet conceded nothing. She is still at liberty to weigh and choose, to compare her lover to other men, while the knowledge that she is the ultimate girl that some man is trying to win gives her a pretty sense of self-importance and a feeling that she has come into the heritage of womanhood.
Whether it is one of the fictions about courtship or not, it is generally assumed that a young woman is longer in making up her mind than is the young man. When a man finds the right girl he is pretty apt to know it, and it is his business then to start out and persuade her to his point of view. "Neither willing nor reluctant" is the attitude of the young girl.
Gifts and Attention.
Just what attention a man is privileged to show a young woman to whom he is not engaged, and yet to whom he wishes to express his devotion, is a point a little difficult to define.
If she is a bookish girl she will be pleased with gifts of books or the suggestion that they may read the same books so they may talk them over together. She will probably feel complimented if a man discusses with her his business affairs and the problems that are interesting men in their life work. When a man begins to call often and regularly on a girl it is best to have some topic of conversation aside from personalities.
When a man is led to spend more money than he can afford in entertaining a girl it is a bad preparation for matrimony. Courtship is a time when a man desires to bring gifts, and it is quite right and fitting that he should do so within reasonable limits. A girl of refined feelings does not like to accept valuable presents from a man at this period of their acquaintance. Flowers, books, music, if the girl plays or sings, and boxes of candy are always permissible offerings which neither engage the man who offers them nor the girl who receives them. This is the time when a man invites a girl to the theater, to concerts and lectures, and may offer to escort her to church. The pleasure of her society is supposed to be a full return for the trouble and expense incurred in showing these small attentions.
The Claims of Companionship.
A man cannot justly complain if a girl accepts similar favors from other men, for until he has proposed and been accepted he has no claim on her undivided companionship. An attitude of proprietorship on his part, particularly if it is exercised in public, is as bad manners as it is unwise, and a high-spirited girl, although she may find her feelings becoming engaged, is prone to resent it. It should be remembered that a man is free to cease his attentions, and until he has finally surrendered his liberty he should not expect her to devote all her time to him.
At this period it is a wise man who makes a friend of a girl's mother, and if he does this he will generally be repaid in a twofold manner. No matter how willful a girl may be, her mother's opinion of her friends always has weight with her.
Moreover, what the mother is the girl will in all probability become, and a man has no better opportunity of learning a girl's mental and moral qualities than by knowing the woman who bore and reared her.
Engagement and Wedding Rings.
The form and material of "the mystic ring of marriage" change but little, and innovations on the plain gold band are rarely successful. The very broad, flat band is now out of date and replaced by a much narrower ring, sufficiently thick, however, to stand the usage of a lifetime. It is generally engraved on the concealed side with the initials of the giver and the date of the marriage. The gold in the ring should be as pure as possible, and the color, which depends on the alloy used, should be unobtrusive, the pale gold being better liked now than the red gold. Many women never remove their wedding ring after it has been put on and believe it is bad luck to do so.
There is but one choice for an engagement ring, a solitaire diamond, and clusters or colored stones are not considered in this connection. As after the wedding the engagement ring is used as a guard to the wedding ring, it should be as handsome as possible, and a small, pure stone is a far better choice than a more showy one that may be a little off in color or possess a flaw.
Correct Form in Jewelry.
On the wedding day the groom often makes the bride a wedding present