The Hackers Dictionary | Page 9

=> disgustitude hack => hackification
Further, note the prevalence of certain kinds of nonstandard plural forms. Some of these
go back quite a ways; the TMRC Dictionary noted that the defined plural of `caboose' is
`cabeese', and includes an entry which implies that the plural of `mouse' is {meeces}. On
a similarly Anglo-Saxon note, almost anything ending in `x' may form plurals in `-xen'
(see {VAXen} and {boxen} in the main text). Even words ending in phonetic /k/ alone
are sometimes treated this way; e.g., `soxen' for a bunch of socks. Other funny plurals are
`frobbotzim' for the plural of `frobbozz' (see {frobnitz}) and `Unices' and `Twenices'
(rather than `Unixes' and `Twenexes'; see {UNIX}, {TWENEX} in main text). But note
that `Unixen' and `Twenexen' are never used; it has been suggested that this is because
`-ix' and `-ex' are Latin singular endings that attract a Latinate plural. Finally, it has been
suggested to general approval that the plural of `mongoose' ought to be `polygoose'.
The pattern here, as with other hackish grammatical quirks, is generalization of an
inflectional rule that in English is either an import or a fossil (such as the Hebrew plural
ending `-im', or the Anglo-Saxon plural suffix `-en') to cases where it isn't normally

considered to apply.
This is not `poor grammar', as hackers are generally quite well aware of what they are
doing when they distort the language. It is grammatical creativity, a form of playfulness.
It is done not to impress but to amuse, and never at the expense of clarity.
:Spoken inarticulations: ------------------------ Words such as `mumble', `sigh', and `groan'
are spoken in places where their referent might more naturally be used. It has been
suggested that this usage derives from the impossibility of representing such noises on a
comm link or in electronic mail (interestingly, the same sorts of constructions have been
showing up with increasing frequency in comic strips). Another expression sometimes
heard is "Complain!", meaning "I have a complaint!"
:Anthromorphization: -------------------- Semantically, one rich source of jargon
constructions is the hackish tendency to anthropomorphize hardware and software. This
isn't done in a na"ive way; hackers don't personalize their stuff in the sense of feeling
empathy with it, nor do they mystically believe that the things they work on every day are
`alive'. What *is* common is to hear hardware or software talked about as though it has
homunculi talking to each other inside it, with intentions and desires. Thus, one hears
"The protocol handler got confused", or that programs "are trying" to do things, or one
may say of a routine that "its goal in life is to X". One even hears explanations like "...
and its poor little brain couldn't understand X, and it died." Sometimes modelling things
this way actually seems to make them easier to understand, perhaps because it's
instinctively natural to think of anything with a really complex behavioral repertoire as
`like a person' rather than `like a thing'.

Of the six listed constructions, verb doubling, peculiar noun formations,
anthromorphization, and (especially) spoken inarticulations have become quite general;
but punning jargon is still largely confined to MIT and other large universities, and the
`-P' convention is found only where LISPers flourish.
Finally, note that many words in hacker jargon have to be understood as members of sets
of comparatives. This is especially true of the adjectives and nouns used to describe the
beauty and functional quality of code. Here is an approximately correct spectrum:
monstrosity brain-damage screw bug lose misfeature crock kluge hack win feature
elegance perfection
The last is spoken of as a mythical absolute, approximated but never actually attained.
Another similar scale is used for describing the reliability of software:
broken flaky dodgy fragile brittle solid robust bulletproof armor-plated
Note, however, that `dodgy' is primarily Commonwealth hackish (it is rare in the U.S.)
and may change places with `flaky' for some speakers.

Coinages for describing {lossage} seem to call forth the very finest in hackish linguistic
inventiveness; it has been truly said that hackers have even more words for equipment
failures than Yiddish has for obnoxious people.
:Hacker Writing Style: ======================
We've already seen that hackers often coin jargon by overgeneralizing grammatical rules.
This is one aspect of a more general fondness for form-versus-content language jokes that
shows up particularly in hackish writing. One correspondent reports that he consistently
misspells `wrong' as `worng'. Others have been known to criticize glitches in Jargon File
drafts by observing (in the mode of Douglas Hofstadter) "This sentence no verb", or "Bad
speling", or "Incorrectspa cing." Similarly, intentional spoonerisms are often made of
phrases relating to confusion or things that are confusing; `dain bramage' for `brain
damage' is perhaps the most common (similarly, a hacker would be likely to write
"Excuse me, I'm cixelsyd today", rather than "I'm dyslexic