The Glugs of Gosh | Page 8

lean, Glugs fat!"
But the North wind
snatches off his hat,
And flings it high, and shrieks to see
His ruffled dignity.
They lurk in every Gov'ment lair,
'Mid docket dull and dusty file,
Solemnly squat in an easy chair,

Penning a minute of rare hot air
In departmental style.
In every office, on every floor
Are Swanks, and Swanks, distracting Swanks,
And Acting-Swanks a score,
And coldly distant, sub-assistant
Under-Swanks galore.
In peaceful days when the countryside
Poured wealth to Gosh, and the skies were blue,
The great King
Splosh no fault espied,
And seemed entirely satisfied

With Swanks who muddled thro'.
But when they fell on seasons bad,
Oh, then the Swanks, the bustled Swanks,
The hustled Swanks went mad--
The minute-writing,
nation-blighting,
Skiting Swanks went mad.
The tall trees sway like boys at play,
And mock him when he grieves,
As one by one, in laughing fun,
They pelt him with their leaves.
And the gay green trees joke to the
breeze,
As the Swank struts proudly by;
But every Glug, with reverence,

Pays homage to his pride immense--
A homage deep to lofty rank--
The Swank! The Swank! The
pompous Swank!
But the wind-borne leaves await their chance
And round him gaily dance.
Now, trouble came to the land of Gosh:
The fear of battle, and anxious days;
And the Swanks were called to
the great King Splosh,
Who said that their system would not wash,
And ordered other ways.
Then the Lord High Swank stretched forth a
paw,
And penned a minute re the law,
And the Swanks, the Swanks, the other Swanks,
The brother Swanks said, "Haw!"
These keen, resourceful,
unremorseful,

Forceful Swanks said, "Haw!"
Then Splosh, the king, in a royal rage,
He smote his throne as he thundered, "Bosh!
In the whole wide land
is there not one sage
With a cool, clear brain, who'll straight engage
To sweep the Swanks from Gosh?"
But the Lord High Stodge, from
where he stood,
Cried, "Barley! . . . Guard your livelihood!"
And, quick as light, the teeming Swanks,
The scheming Swanks touched wood.
Sages, plainly, labour vainly
When the Swanks touch wood.
The stealthy cats that grace the mats
Before the doors of Gosh,
Smile wide with scorn each sunny morn;
And, as they take their wash,
A sly grimace o'erspreads each face
As the Swank struts forth to court.
But every Glug casts down his
eyes,
And mutters, "Ain't 'is 'at a size!
For such a sight our gods we thank.
Sir Stodge, the Swank! The noble
Swank!"
But the West wind tweaks his nose in sport;
And the Swank struts into court.
Then roared the King with a rage intense,
"Oh, who can cope with their magic tricks?"
But the Lord High
Swank skipped nimbly hence,
And hid him safe behind the fence
Of Regulation VI.
And under Section Four Eight 0

The Swanks, the Swanks, dim forms of Swanks,
The swarms of Swanks lay low--
These most tenacious,
perspicacious,
Spacious Swanks lay low.
Cried the King of Gosh, "They shall not escape!
Am I set at naught by a crazed buffoon?"
But in fifty fathoms of thin
red tape
The Lord Swank swaddled his portly shape,
Like a large, insane cocoon.
Then round and round and round and
round.
The Swanks, the Swanks, the whirling Swanks,
The twirling Swanks they wound--
The swathed and swaddled,
molly-coddled
Swanks inanely wound.
Each insect thing that comes in Spring
To gladden this sad earth,
It flits and whirls and pipes and skirls,
It chirps in mocking mirth
A merry song the whole day long
To see the Swank abroad.
But every Glug, whoe'er he be,
Salutes,
with grave humility
And deference to noble rank,
The Swank, the Swank, the swollen
Swank;
But the South wind blows his clothes awry,
And flings dust in his eye.
So trouble stayed in the land of Gosh;

And the futile Glugs could only gape,
While the Lord High Swank
still ruled King Splosh
With laws of blither and rules of bosh,
From out his lair of tape.
And in cocoons that mocked the Glug
The Swanks, the Swanks, the under-Swanks,
The dunder Swanks lay snug.
These most politic, parasitic,
Critic Swanks lay snug.
Then mourn with me for a luckless land,
Oh, weep with me for the slaves of tape!
Where the Lord High Swank
still held command,
And wrote new rules in a fair round hand,
And the Glugs saw no escape;
Where tape entwined all Gluggish
things,
And the Swank, the Swank, the grievous Swank,
The devious Swank pulled strings--
The perspicacious, contumacious
Swank held all the strings.
The blooms that grow, and, in a row,
Peep o'er each garden fence,
They nod and smile to note his style
Of ponderous pretence;
Each roving bee has fits of glee
When the Swank goes by that way.
But every Glug, he makes his
bow,
And says, "Just watch him! Watch him now!
He must have thousands in the bank!
The Swank! The Swank! The
holy Swank!"
But the wild winds snatch his kerchief out,

And buffet him about.
VIII. THE SEER
Somewhere or other, 'tis doubtful where,
In the archives of Gosh